


a mother's sacrifice

by euros



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Blue Spirit - Freeform, Eventual Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Eventual Romance, Ever wonder what could have happened to Kya? Maybe she wasn’t dead at all..., F/M, I don’t want to give away too much in the tags, Mad Scientists, Painted Lady - Freeform, Politics, Post canon, Radio active injections, Secret work camp, Secrets, Spirits, Ursa doesn’t want to hurt anyone but she has to protect her children, Vigilantism, Waterbending, Zuko and Katara make a great team, Zuko’s life is a disaster but what do you expect, alternating pov, historical influences, power stuggle, the southern raiders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euros/pseuds/euros
Summary: Zuko has ascended the Fire Nation Throne, and despite his best efforts to continue on the path to peace and harmony, there are many challenges and obstacles within his own Nation and outside of it. They threaten the delicate peace established at Ozai's fall.  And the Fire Nation isn't so strong behind it's intimidating front. Not only is it crumbling from the inside out, but it holds within itself haunting secrets, a lost woman, and a dark history.During all the political turmoil Zuko and Katara struggle as they try to hold the Fire Nation together and figure out what they mean to each other. Soon their story entangles with another story, the one that follows two mothers, and how their lives were affected by the choices they made to protect their children.A Mother’s love is powerful and so is her sacrifice.
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Kya and Ursa
Comments: 57
Kudos: 44





	1. Prologue: Spirited Away

**Author's Note:**

> A friend helped me create the summary. :)  
> Also, this is just a prologue. And I don’t own anything. Obviously, haha.

8 years ago: Miles from the coast, deep in Fire Nation waters, a sleek iron ship skimmed speedily across the pitch black waters. The bright full moon hung high in the velvet sky, and it’s pale light reflected across the rough ocean waves as thick dark clouds threatened to blot out the silver moon beams. 

A storm sulked beyond the horizon, and it greeted the newcomers with violent wind that slapped the ship relentlessly. But, beneath the full moon’s watchful gaze, and the dark sky’s judgmental glare, the ship continued on it’s secret mission, unconcerned by the gathering storm clouds and unbothered by the ferocious wind.

Within the most heavily guarded section of the ship, hidden away like the criminal her captors deemed her, a woman laid despondently on the hard floor. She listened to the howling of the wind battering the walls of the ship, wondering idly if it would tear the ship apart. There wasn’t much else to distract her from her miserable thoughts other than the angry wind, apart from the other prisoners perhaps. But they weren’t allowed to communicate with each other anyway. Nobody knew what the consequences were for breaking that rule because nobody dared test the boundaries. 

Her cell was dark and dreary and noisy pipes blew dry air into the tiny room, burning her lungs like sandpaper with each breath. It was terribly cold too. It was the glacial kind of cold, the one that seeped through a prisoner’s flesh and permeated her bones. And the darkness slithered about her skin, cradling her like a sheet blankets the dead. It might have intimidated others, but she took it in stride. She was familiar with the dark and the cold. She did not fear them, nor did she fear the guards. She feared what these monstrous people wanted with her and mostly what they might discover about her.

_ She had done what she could for her children.  _

_ They were safe. _

And for them to remain safe her secret could never be discovered.

She would guard it until her last breath left her body; for there was no force in the world that would keep her from protecting her children.

She touched her throat, reaching for what she knew wasn’t there. It was nothing more than a useless gesture. He couldn’t come for her after all. She felt all alone despite being constantly guarded. She was never given a moment of respite nor a moment of privacy nor a moment of solace. 

Most of the soldiers, the men and the women, guarded her like she was a rabid animal; with gloating pride that she was subdued. Beneath their black and red masks their sharp eyes scrutinized her every move. Why they bothered she didn’t know. There was nothing she could do to escape. The irony wasn’t lost on her since with them without a struggle in the first place.

Like every prisoner did, she resented her guards, but she despised the tall man with the cold, dark eyes more. She didn’t know it was possible to hate another human with this all consuming vitriol— until she met him. He was the one who had found her. He was the one who took her away. And when she said he would go with him willingly, he smirked malevolently. She shuddered, he left her no doubt that he was evil; in the way he smirked, the way he spoke, the way moved. Even the ghost of his presence left a metallic tang of apprehension weighing on her tongue.

Sometimes he visited her to relish in his mission’s almost success. He seemed to be a proud man, he refused to tell her exactly what his plans were for her, and he seemed to enjoy tormenting her. He hinted that he had orders to transport her far away but he never specified where. She pulled her arms around herself as she recalled his first visit with a shiver.

_ He strolled up to the prison bars. He was so close she could feel his hot, heavy breath on her bare neck. His breath reeked more than the stench of rotten fish. She refused to turn around, she refused to look at him, she stared ahead at the wall, with her back straight and her pride fueling her strength.  _

_ “What do you want with me?” She demanded. _

_ “You’ll see.” He whispered.  _

_ “You said I wasn’t going to be a prisoner. What is this then?” She gestured to her shackles.  _

_ “Oh, you’re not, you’re our special guest, your highness.” His rough voice crawled up her spine like a ice roach scurries on the floor.  _

_ She had no title. But a liar has no honor, and mockery was no worse than lies. She held back her sardonic remark, it coiled itself in the back of her throat where she swallowed it.  _

_ “Where are you taking me?”  _

_ “You’re quite impatient. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, but you’ll find out soon enough. I’m sure you’ll find the conditions there are... more suitable to your  _ refined _ tastes.” _

_ She gave no indication of how much he rattled her. She balked at giving him more power over he already had. _

_ He lingered for just long enough to make her uncomfortable, and then he left, his metal shoes echoing against the floor. _

She was wary of him and she hated him, but she did not fear him, she didn’t fear  _ any of them _ . At least, that’s what she told herself. She repeated her mantra over and over and over in the seclusion of her mind. If she repeated it enough she would believe it. But in the end, she could not deny she feared they would discover her secret, because if exposed, it would threaten her childrens’ lives.

_ Her children.  _

Just the thought of her son and her daughter brought tears to her eyes. For a moment, she turned her head away from the front of her prison cell. She refused to show them her face swollen from silent tears. A deep breath, another,  _ one more _ and she regained her composure, but that did nothing to stop the thing in her chest from aching.

Instead she distracted herself. She eyed her current guards warily. Their sharp uniforms and viscous masks sent shivers down her spine. They stood there eerily, hardly speaking and hardly moving. She almost wondered if they were real people. The waves outside crashed louder with each passing minute and they jarred her from her thoughts. 

She tried to look out her small window, but her wrists and ankles were chained cruelly to the walls and floors of the prison cell, they chafed against her delicate skin, almost drawing a whimper from her. She repressed it and fell back down in frustration. But then one of the guards turned his head towards her, eyeing her carefully, she took it as a challenge. She gathered her will and her strength and pulled herself into a seated position. She knew exactly who she was and she would not let herself be intimidated. 

She heard the waves crashing even louder than before.

Suddenly, the ship lurched. These waves were massive mountains and valleys of water and the ship rose and fell with each crest and trough. The movement swooped beneath the passengers’ stomachs, swinging towards the sky before plummeting back down rapidly. Soldiers, guards, and prisoners grappled desperately for whatever they could to hold onto their feeble balance. 

Without warning, there was a violent rattling sound clawing at the ship. It had to be raindrops, but the brutal downpour was less like rain and more like thorns striking ceaselessly at the exterior of the ship. The storm was enough to terrify the wits out of the most experienced seamen. But she was not one of them. 

Then she heard the frenzied pattering of boots against metal. A pair of soldiers and the man who captured her who must have been the Captain, rushed downstairs to the prisoner holdings. The candle lights flickered briefly and for a moment he looked so pale and haunted that she thought he might be an apparition. But it was nothing more than her mind conjuring an image of him that was less human, one that fit the man who spirited a woman away with cruel intent.

“It's the woman, she’s doing this!” one of the soldiers behind the Captain called in an agitated manner.

He pointed at her. 

He continued, “Throw her overboard.”

“It is not her--there’s nothing she could do. She’s  _ chained _ . Besides, a woman can’t control the  _ weather. _ ” seethed the Captain, his pale face turned red with irritation.

“I ordered you to stay in your positions.” 

“Well sir-”

“Don’t just stand there, get back to where you’re supposed to be!” he snapped harshly.

The two men glanced at each other before following the captain’s orders.

“Has the storm worsened?” asked one of her guards.

“Obviously. We were making good time before, but it caught up quickly.” 

“How is that possible? We’re going 20 knots; that’s enough to outrun any hurricane.” demanded her other guard loudly, but the wind’s piercing scream almost drowned his voice out. 

“It’s the judgement of the spirits.” breathed the guard to the right. He gripped the bars of her cell as the ship made another gut sweeping lurch. He looked straight into her eyes as the wind whistled sharply across the walls.

The captain also eyed her suspiciously for a moment. She stared back at him solemnly. 

“Watch our  _ guest  _ carefully. Do not leave your positions.” he ordered. Then he hurried on his way, checking the security of the other prisoners. 

She almost laughed at them then, these foolish men who thought they could outrun a force of mother nature. 

After a night and day battling with the weather the battered ship escaped, though some of the passengers were not so fortunate. The woman wished the Captain was lost to the endless ocean but he was alive and well, and the woman was sorely disappointed. 

Since men were lost the woman was assigned new guards, they wore white skeletal masks instead of the red and black ones. They were completely different from her previous guards and they were very talkative. As for their lack of discretion, maybe they were new recruits, or maybe they were lacking intelligence, but either way the woman learned what little she knew from their whispered conversations.

Judging by the voices, to her left was a young woman, a girl really, and to her right was a middle aged man. 

“Did you hear how badly the ship was damaged?” the girl asked.

“Oh yes, it’s so severe I’m surprised it’s still running at all.”

“I know! I can’t believe we didn’t sink, we might still.”

“At least there’s a place nearby it can get fixed.” 

“Quiet! What part of we ‘pretend it doesn’t exist’ don’t you understand?” He glanced hastily back at the woman.

“Oh come on, how do you hide a place like that?” 

“Simple enough, we don’t talk about it.”

The girl froze for a moment.

“Was he serious about...about that threat if we --”

“If we talk about what happens here?

“Yeah.” she responded with her eyes downcast.

“Yes, he’s dead serious. And I would avoid talking to the others here. You can’t just trust anyone because everyone fends for themselves and their families here.” replied the man. 

“And” he continued, “steer clear of the Captain, he’s short tempered with everything that’s been going on. The mission’s been set back weeks. It risks the secrecy and the success of the mission”

She nodded quietly. It looked like she was going to say something else, but a pair of patrol guards came around the corner. 

Both of the woman’s guards stiffened up, snapping back into position. 

So the crew and the soldiers under the Captain's command were walking on black ice. Their mission, and especially their  _ special guest, _ had to remain a secret. 

Quite some time later, perhaps it was several days or a week, they arrived at what must have been at the location that the woman had heard the guards mention. After the ship stopped in the harbor, two soldiers wearing the red and black mask gripped her arms bruisingly and held them behind her back. They released her from her chains. The skin on her wrists and ankles were raw and sensitive from rubbing against the metal chains. But the soldiers had no sympathy, they tied her wrists together tightly with thick, scratchy rope, right over the sore skin. She winced.

They dragged her out of her cell, blindfolded her and forced her to walk off the ship to the outdoors. Even with the blindfold the brightness hurt. She could feel the sun’s warm rays on her face. Fresh air hit her and she breathed in deeply. They had taken her shoes. The ground was soft, earthy, and warm beneath her toes. She felt her dress trailing in the dirt. She stumbled occasionally, but the soldiers didn’t slow, instead they forced her back up and shoved her forwards. 

They placed her in a simple room. They re-chained her wrist and ankles and removed her blind fold. It had a door and a bed. But even though she had a bed in her new holdings, she did not find them any better than the ones on the ship. If anything they were worse. 

The weather was hot, humid and uncomfortable. She passed out a few times. She was sticky and sweaty all the time. She was always thirsty. The constant heat was wearing on her. And she wished for quiet but she could hear the loud bangs and sharp noises that came from the men working on the ship. Noisy bugs chattered all night. The guards called them cicadas hoppers, apparently, they were a common nuisance in this Mid-Southern part of the Fire Nation. 

She’d rather be on the ship than in these holdings. To her, the smell of the ocean was akin to the smell of freedom. And even though the smell was buried beneath the smell of must, coal and metal, she found it comforting. But on the land the salty scent was further away. She was isolated. 

To her great displeasure, the Captain came again to check on her. But this time there were no bars to separate them. Yet still she refused to look around and face him. She hated to see those soulless eyes, they were so cold and empty they left her feeling exposed and hopeless.

“I assume your accommodations are up more than up to your standards,  _ your highness _ .” he mocked. 

She remained silent.

He chuckled “I have orders to keep you unharmed, at least until I bring you to your final destination.” he volunteered this information.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Why not? Besides,who knows if those orders will change. And you may not even have the strength to survive.” 

She was too angry to respond. 

He left. She seethed.

She was spoon fed a single, small bowl of rice a day and a single cup of water, most of which dribbled down her chin. It was humiliating and uncomfortable and she hated every moment of it, but she tolerated it, her only other choice was to starve. And for her, starving wasn’t an option. She would survive if only to spite the Captain. She was strong and fierce and she could not be broken. 

So each day she ate each rice filled spoon forced towards her, despising the way the sticky rice grains adhered to dry mouth and lips. And each day she accepted the water offered to her after her rice bowl, which she gulped at desperately while her arms were suspended on either side of her. The water was never enough to satisfy her constant thirst, and the rice was never enough to soothe her ravenous hunger or free her of the exhaustion that consumed her body. 

Not once did they free her hands and feet and let her eat independently. But of course she was their  _ special guest.  _

The other prisoners could. She was the only prisoner chained like this, all the others were free to move as they pleased, within the confines of their cells of course. 

The Captain visited her again. But he said nothing this time. This time, she started their little talk.

“You’re a horrible man.” she said.

Behind her, his lips slithered into a smile, but she didn’t see. Her back was to him, but his presence alone was saltwater scalding her open wounds. She felt her heart throbbing for her children, and every moment with them that had been stolen from her. She lashed out like a wild animal.

“Do you feel anything? Anything at all?” she demanded angrily. She gripped the prison bars so hard her knuckles turned white.

For a while he gave no response except his breathing. 

But then he said, “Pride. I have captured you, served my Firelord and I will be rewarded for my loyalty.”

“You’re sick.” 

“I’m not sick, I am strong”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“That depends on your perspective.”

“Or you’re just wrong,” she replied with her chin tilting up, haughty and proud. 

“I am powerful and you are weak. You can’t stop me. You’re fooling yourself if you can’t see that.” he said. 

She almost scoffed but she held it in, poking his nerves was a dangerous game as sometimes he was angered by her insolence, and other times entertained. She didn’t understand him, but she recognized when pusing her limits was too dangerous-was comfort enough that could rile him up-at least she held some power over him too, however small it was. 

During most of his visits he regarded her like a man regards his prize winning ostrich horse, an object of gain and superiority and nothing more. When she asked him questions, he never answered them directly. Instead, he leaped around them and avoided them and mocked her and frustrated her. She wondered if he had a conscience at all.

Although most guards were silent, as it seemed to be an unspoken rule, the young woman and middle aged man assigned to the woman were not, in fact they were chatty by comparison and remained that way. They also seemed less cruel than the other members from the ship. She wondered if they knew who she was and what their mission was exactly, or if they were just following orders blindly, but it didn’t really matter because either way they were the ones with the loose mouths. Most of the information she got she received by eavesdropping on them, even when their voices were muffled by the door. With her ear pressed against the door she listened carefully.

“What was that letter the Captain received?” asked the young woman. 

“News from Caldera and orders regarding our...guest.” replied the other guard. 

“The news?”

“Firelord Azulon passed away. He was succeeded by his second son, Prince Ozai.”

“Holy fire flakes, Firelord Azulon was Firelord all my life.” 

“Mine too, I sort of felt like he would live forever.” replied the man.

“But,” she paused for a moment, “why wasn’t he succeeded by Prince Iroh?”

“Hush! That’s treasonous to question the workings of royalty!” the right guard admonished nervously. His eyes darted around checking for anyone else. Fortunately for them, the other guard patrols were not around.

“Sorry, can we forget I asked?” she whispered sheepishly. 

“Of course.” 

“Hail Firelord Ozai, long may he reign.”

“Hail Firelord Ozai, long may he reign.” The guard to her right repeated.

They returned to stiff silence. 

The woman’s eyes narrowed. She wondered what the orders regarding her, the  _ guest, _ were.

Finally, after what seemed like months, the ship’s work was done and it was ready to be on it’s way. She was led back onto the ship much in the same manner she had been led off. 

Her life returned to what it had been on the ship before. The days merged together, her sense of time was often skewed. Other than her meals- though they could hardly be called meals-she had no way to sense the passage of time. The routines for herself, the other prisoners and the guards were simple and consistent, doing little to break up the drudgery of her dull existence. Each moment seemed to drag on for eternity, and the only things that kept her from losing her mind were her memories that she relived in her dreams and daydreams. She remembered her son’s smile and her daughter’s laughter. And she hated the Captain more with each passing day, it simmered beneath the surface like pus under a boil.

The Captain visited her again, this time in the dead of night.

“We’re almost there.” he said, sounding pleased.

“Well good for you, your mother must be so proud.” 

“You hold your tongue.” 

“No thank you.” 

“I'll let that go, for now. Don’t think they’ll be so lenient where you’re going.” 

“We’ll see if I care.” 

“You have a lot of insolence for someone in your position.” he said coldly. 

“Or maybe I’m more powerful than you think.” She said without hesitation, watching his expression carefully.

His eyes flickered. He feared her, she noticed with a sort of savage pride. Though she did not have the power he thought she had. 

“If you try anything, you’ll regret it. I’ll see to it personally.” he said. He slammed the door shut on his way out.

Her momentary victory left her feeling elated, until she felt the chilly draft brush her naked neck. 

She knew her time on this cold, metal prison would eventually come to end. She awaited that change with trepidation. Although the captain said she wouldn’t be a prisoner, she could not help but doubt it. Maybe he was delusional or manipulative or maybe she really wouldn’t be a prisoner, she wasn’t sure what the case was, but from the way he gloated, she imagined her fate would be far more wretched than her current conditions.

Perhaps it was death. 

But if that was so, why had the man not killed her when he found her right then and there? 

She wondered whether the sorrow she felt at being forced from her home or the apprehension of her unknown future would suck the life out of her before she even reached her final destination. 

She half hoped it would; she knew she missed her children in her life more than she would miss a life without her children. 


	2. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and the Fire Nation are struggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made some edits and changes to the first chapter. This Chapter is about Zuko and told from his point of view. I was going to include whats going on with Katara, but it didn't seem to fit. So she won't show up quite yet.  
> Also, this take place 2 years after the war. So Zuko is 18. In addition, instead of the Earth Kingdom being one massive Kingdom, there are many large and powerful City States and they not all under Ba Sing Se's and King Kuei's rule.

Zuko sighed heavily as he kneaded his pounding head, the summer heat wasn’t helping his oncoming migraine. He tugged his crown out of his topknot, letting his shaggy hair frame his face, tossed his crown to the side. Still hot and frustrated by the humidity, he pulled his stiff formal robe over his head and slung it on the back of his chair, leaving him in his breezier underclothes. He didn’t have anywhere important to be anyway. 

With a brush ready in his hand, he returned his attention to the miles of paperwork, bills, ancient laws, historical scrolls, petitions, and other items piled messily on his desk that seemed endless. And useless. Elegant lettering, expensive black ink, and fancy language on pale parchment, whether it was an ancient precedent or a new law, did nothing for the Fire Nation’s numerous economic, social and political problems. They were meaningless formalities in the chaos of reality.

The Fire nation’s entire economy-no society- had revolved around making war. And now, that way of life had shattered beneath their feet. None of the laws and programs he designed seemed to be pulling the Fire Nation back together again. It was closer to collapsing than it had been in centuries. As his people divided further into factions they drove the Fire Nation further towards Civil War. 

And Zuko didn’t know how to fix it. He squeezed his head. He didn’t know who to listen to in the many voices that called for his action, he didn’t know which problems, which were too many to count, needed to be addressed first. 

He needed to restructure the economy to function on something other than war, something like Farming, mining or manufacturing. How did he make that shift? How did he get his people jobs? How did he put in place programs to help returning veterans and to families who lost husbands, wives, sons, and daughters in the war without taxing them? He couldn’t tax them much because they had no money, because they had no means of work and what little his nation had went to war reparation payments. 

The education system was another major problem. He needed to fight the racist sentiments his people had been taught before they could even talk. He needed to handle inequality between the lower classes, the middle class and the nobility. He also needed to handle the colonies that still existed in Earth Kingdom. He didn’t even know what was going on with them. But most importantly, how did he handle being occupied by The Northern Water Tribe and Ba Sing Se? 

His power was greatly restricted, he hoped it would change when he turned twenty one, which was considered the age of adulthood in the Fire Nation. But he couldn’t count on any changes. 

He was so out of touch with his people’s voices. Whenever he tried to leave the palace, the Northern Water Tribe or Ba Sing Se guards prevented him from leaving. And his audiences with his people were strictly controlled. What he knew of his people’s condition was only what he got from when he snuck out at night. 

Only two years as Fire Lord. Two long years and he was failing his people. Just like he had feared.

Was he any better than his father? 

He dropped his brush and groaned covering his face with his hands. 

Worst of all, he didn’t know who to trust, or whose advice to listen to. 

He could feel his head thumping, as though earth bender was slamming boulders at his head. He couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it. The tensions in his chest and shallow breathing twisted through his body knotting in every muscle. 

And not for the first time he wished his uncle was there to advise him and support him. 

He closed his eyes for a moment. He could almost feel his uncle’s warm hand on his shoulder, and the smell of ginseng wafting towards him. 

_ “Family sticks together right?”  _

He slumped against the back of his chair gloomily. He pinches the bridge of his nose. He would be utterly alone if it weren’t for the pleasant surprise he had just two days ago. 

_ He walked into his throne room and sat at his cushion behind his wall of flames. Today was the day he heard audiences. It was difficult for anyone to get an audience with him because people had to go through his council first so most issues that made it to him were ridiculous. Once he had an audience with two men who argued about who owned the stray chicken-nene in their neighborhood. So he was surprised to find a nicely dressed man and a woman kowtowed on the floor.  _

_ “How can I help you?” he asked.  _

_ “We wished to visit you, your majesty, since we discovered we are related,” said the woman. She had long hair secured in an ivory clip, soft brown eyes and delicate features.  _

_ “If this is some kind of joke-” he snapped.  _

_ “-We have proof,” said the man quietly. He had sharply slanted amber eyes. Half of his long hair was pulled into a top knot.  _

_ He pulled out a birth certificate.  _

_ “This was my grandmother’s,” said the man.  _

_ “She was Fire Lord Sozin’s first born, but she was born weak and without bending, so a noble family adopted her. Later when Azulon was born, she was forgotten completely.”  _

_ He handed the certificate to Zuko, who inspected it in disbelief.  _

_ “Why haven't I heard of you until now?” _

_ “The royal family considers it deeply shameful to have a child without bending. Fire Lord Sozin wanted her to be forgotten.” _

_ That’s certainly true.  _

_ “I see.” said Zuko. his hand holding the certificate shakes.  _

_ “My wife, Eun, convinced me to visit. She thought it would be nice for you to know you to know you have family that doesn’t want you dead.” _

_ “What Min means to say is you have family that support you,” interrupted Eun.  _

_ “Oh, Thanks. That’s um...nice” Zuko’s voice cracks.  _

_ She smiles.  _

_ “A place to stay. I mean, if you’re staying. Do you want to stay? Or visit?” asks Zuko. _

_ “Yes, that would be lovely.” says Eun.  _

_ “Okay. I’ll talk to the servants and find you a place to stay.” _

_ Zuko can hardly believe it.  _

He decided that once they settle in he will ask them to join him for tea.

He returned to his paperwork, he must choose something and write a good, strong effective program, one so brilliant that his advisers cannot refuse, one they cannot scoff at, one they cannot do away with. One they can’t say they’ll implement and then don’t. He cannot fail his people. 

A knock on his office door interrupted his thoughts. 

“What is it?” he asked irritated. Who was bothering him now?

A servant entered. “Your lunch with the Northern Water Tribe and Ba Sing Se representatives is scheduled for right now.”

“No, I don’t have anything scheduled today.” he snapped. Today was just paperwork.

“I don’t know what to tell you, your majesty. They are waiting for you in the main dining area.”

It’s one of the council’s manipulative games.

Zuko rose from his desk quickly. He turned around in a circle, flustered. He ran his hand through his sloppy hair hurriedly. 

“Where’s my crown?” 

“Behind you.”

“Oh-okay I'm going now.” He said as he pulled his hair back and up and secured his crown into the topknot.

“Your majesty, aren’t you forgetting something?” 

“No-I have to go” Zuko turned towards the door, passing a mirror on his way. He reached for the door knob. Something stopped him, he looked back at the mirror. 

“ Oh. ” 

He had forgotten to put his formal robes back on. He had been about to walk out in his underclothes, and conservative though they were, it was not a respectable image. 

The servant handed him his formal robes and helped him redress properly before Zuko rushed out of the room and towards the dining room, adjusting his high, rigid collar as he went. 

He reached the doors to the dining room and took the moment to take a deep breath before making his entrance. 

He nodded at the guard by the door to announce his entrance as he pushed open the doors. 

He sat down at the head of the table. To his left was the Ba Sing Se representative, Juro. He was a bulky man who had very little neck and a squashed face. To his right was Yumak and his son Hahn, who were the Northern Water Tribe Representatives. Father and son resembled each other, except that Yumak’s eyes were such a dark blue they looked looked black 

All three looked annoyed. Even though they were the ones who initiated the surprise meeting. 

Zuko held his breath and forced his face into an acceptable expression. Or at least what he hoped was a calm expression. Really it looked like he had swallowed something mildly distasteful. 

It was important that he was patient, he could not afford to irritate these men who occupied his country and limited his power. He worried that any displeasure with him and these men would use the militaries they possessed in the Fire Nation to further oppress his people. They had enough of that under Ozai. 

These men were the most powerful members of a group of his council of advisors, whom the Peace Council, had assigned to help him.

Zuko himself was allowed just enough power to attempt to fix his nation, but not enough to actually make a difference for his people. He wrote laws, but he had no one to enforce them. His advisers were the ones who had the power to enforce their own laws. The Northern Water Tribe and Ba Sing Se militaries occupied his nation and served as the policing force too. 

He reminded himself to be polite. He fiddled with the edge of his sleeve and said awkwardly “Hello, Yumak, Hahn and Juro, please accept my apology about being late I -

He was interrupted as soft hands landed on his shoulders. 

“He had an important emergency meeting” replied a woman’s voice in his stead.

It was Eun.

She walked over to the empty chair next to Juro. 

“Oh and there’s my husband” While the representatives turned their heads to the doors, Eun gave Zuko a wink and flashed him a conspiratory smile. There budding hope in his chest.

“And who are you?” demanded Hahn

Zuko stopped himself from shooting a glare at him. He really didn’t like his attitude, though he had one too so he could hardly complain.

“I’m Eun and this is my husband, Min”

“Who cares about your names. Are you nobility or not?” scoffed Hahn. He puffed up his chest.

“Oh we’re distant cousins of Zuko’s. We found out about a month ago actually, and came here a couple days ago to meet him” She flashed Zuko another smile.

Zuko’s glances towards her. 

Hahn looked mollified and embarrassed, but Yumak and Juro looked at the newcomers with suspicion. 

“And how are you related?” asked Juro, his eyes narrowed. 

“Through my grandmother.” he replies shortly. 

“Oh I see.” Juro replied. He shared a glance with Yumak. 

They turned and scrutinized Zuko, who did his best to keep his face unreadable.

The servants arrived with lunch and placed a custom meal in front of each person, and various small side dishes for them to share, including kimchi, spicy radish, braised soy beans, fish and spinach. Zuko did not reach for any of them, nor did he eat more than a couple bites of his spicy noodle soup. The noodles slid down his throat like slimy worms and he ignored the desire to throw it up. It felt sickening to eat when his people were starving. 

Much of the meal was held in uncomfortable silence. More than likely, Yumak and Juro had wanted something from Zuko. They kept throwing glances at Zuko, opening their mouths and then changing their minds. 

“You’re going to catch a beetle-fly.” observed Zuko.

“Excuse me?” said Juro.

“If you have something to say, say it.” replied Zuko sharply. 

“Oh, your highness our matters can wait.”

It’s your majesty.

“Can it really?” 

“Yes, most certainly can. Important matters can’t be discussed around uninvited guests” sneered Yumak, raising his eyebrows towards Eun and Min, who seemed unbothered. 

“Don’t speak to them that way!” 

“I'll speak however I want here.” replied Yumak calmly. 

“Did you forget just how things work around here, boy?” demanded Juro, his deep silky voice at odds with his big vegetable looking face. The reminder was clear enough to Zuko, and so was the implied threat. 

Zuko clenched his jaw but let it go.

Zuko did, however, have something to discuss with them. 

“I’d like to see my sister.” 

“We’ve already told you no boy.”

“I’m going to see her anyway. You can’t stop me.” 

You know we will. And do you really want to spend the next month, unable to leave your room?”

Zuko glared at him. 

Zuko excused himself as soon as was acceptable, he gave Eun and Min a small nod when he headed out.

He purses his lips. Azula wouldn’t let anyone tell her what to do. Azula, who’s blue flames were just as much a sign of her instability as her talent and her ferocity. His Advisers tell him her treatments are going well, but they never let him see her when he asks to. He can still remember everyone of their flimsy excuses.

_ She’s still recovering. _

_ She’s too dangerous. _

_ She doesn’t want to see you. _

Until they realized he wouldn’t stop asking and told him it was forbidden.

It’s been two years, and she is family, perhaps it's time he fights that. By now they must see that he is trustworthy. 

He gathered pitted cherries from the kitchens (She loved them when she was eleven). After a moment’s hesitation he snatched a simple china tea set. He placed them in a simple picnic basket.

_ Tea is one of life’s little pleasures, Prince Zuko.  _

He made his way through the various palace buildings-the historian’s building, the clerk’s building, the buildings that house his advisors-towards the royal infirmary, where Azula resides so the court physicians can monitor the progress.

“I am here to see my sister.” he announces to the guards dressed in deep blue. 

They move in front of the doors. Their spears crossed. 

“You are not allowed to see your sister.” 

“But she’s my sister!”

“No, orders from the Advisors.”

“Why?” 

“She’s dangerous.”

“I can handle it.”

“The answer is still no.”

He wants to push past them. To fight them. But he can’t risk it. 

“ _ Fine!” _

He leaves. But the frustration feels like chains around his chest. 

The stupid advisors. They keep him from doing anything. He is a prisoner in his own palace. He’s so tired of this.

He should never have agreed to have these advisors. But when they were suggested at the Peace Talks in Ba Sing Se, and he was not only desperate to prove himself trustworthy, but was desperate for guidance, he agreed. He didn’t know just what he was getting himself into…

_ He sat at a massive table, beneath the high ceiling and gold plated pillars, next to tall green curtains. He was the only person cloaked in red among a sea of blue and green. It’s the Peace Council. Made up of Chief Arnook, King Keui and numerous other powerful Water Tribe representatives and Earth Kingdom Kings and Nobility.  _

_ They discuss various post war problems, especially regarding the Fire Nation, as though he is not there. He pays close attention anyway, he leans closer as they discuss his country’s role in this new world.  _

_ “Of course the Fire Nation must pay reparations.” said a Northern Water Tribe representative.  _

_ “The issue is whether the Fire Nation will actually pay them, and whether the people of Fire will remain peaceful.” sneered an Earth noble from Ba Sing Se. _

_ “We have a solution for that, we propose a council of advisors to aid the underaged boy in his development as a leader and to watch over the Fire Nation to suppress any efforts to continue the war.”said a Northern Water Tribe representative.  _

_ Zuko is insulted by this -he is dedicated to peace-can’t they see that? He takes a deep breath, and reminds himself that it’s not about him personally. Besides, not all of his people will be relieved that the war has ended, and he will need help to keep violent sentiments controlled.  _

_ “That seems an appropriate measure. But I believe we need to take it further. The Fire Nation must be completely demilitarized. The police force and the Royal guard must also be disbanded.” _

_ Although he is hesitant, Zuko clears his throat, “Excuse me, but I need the police force and the guards or else I will have no way to enforce laws.” _

_ They do not acknowledge him.  _

_ “Of course, we will send in our own troops.” _

_ “That is an excellent idea.”  _

_ “I believe these talks are concluded for today. We’ll resume tomorrow.” _

_ However, Zuko is not allowed on the following day because he is “underage,” and he doesn’t know whether to push or not. But he knows what happened last time. So he lets it go. Aang almost threw a fit when he was told that he could not join either. It would have been amusing if it wasn’t so serious.  _

And perhaps it would have been okay to agree to the advisors, if he hadn’t let himself be strongarmed into the complete demilitarization. He didn’t realize just how important having a military, police and guard would have been to his power. He didn’t want to rule by fear and so when they suggested it, he did not resist. 

He remembers when he realized just how trapped he was. It was just the first month into his return to the Fire Nation after the Peace Talks. Perhaps if he had fought more, things would be different. 

_ Yukon's eye’s travel to the letter in his hand. The royal seal and the black ribbon. _

_ “What’s that?” _

_ “I’m hiring detectives to find my mother, I cannot leave the Fire Nation vulnerable to search for her.”  _

_ “No.”  _

_ “What? Why not!”  _

_ “Because I am your advisor and I said no”  _

_ “Yes, you are my advisor, that means you can offer me advice, or suggestions, on how to conduct policies changes and to help me rule, not to tell me what I can and can’t do. Especially regarding personal decisions.”  _

_ “Don’t challenge me, boy.”  _

_ “I’m not challenging you, I’m speaking fact.”  _

_ Yukon looked displeased.  _

_ “I’ll be going now” said Zuko. He began to walk past him.  _

_ “I think you misunderstood the situation Firelord”  _

_ “What is it now? _

_ “Guards, seize him.” The northern water tribe guards restrained him.  _

_ “Unhand me, now.” Zuko glares at him. _

_ “Not until you understand the situation here.” He pulled out a dagger made of whale bone. He held it to Zuko’s throat.  _

_ Zuko’s eyes widened in shock.  _

_ “We have the power here. You have to listen to us. And don’t even think of trying anything— no guards here are loyal to you, all of them are earth or water. You’ll do as you are told, or face the consequences.” And with the dagger blade pressed against his throat, Zuko knew what he threatened.  _

_ He hung his head. He was trapped.  _

Nobody he sent letters to explaining the situation in the Fire Nation, pleading for help, or even just a friend, replied. Not Aang, Sokka, Toph, Suki, Katara, or even Iroh. It left him feeling lonely and abandoned. Each passing unproductive day left him more bitter and resentful. However, that didn’t mean he was giving up, he was not a quitter and he would do his best even if his methods were not conventional. 

That evening Zuko gathered the leftover food from the palace into a bag, dressed in all black, slipped on his blue and white theater mask, and hung his dao across his back. He climbed out from his window silently, lest he alert the guards outside his bedroom door. He was not allowed to leave his rooms after nine in the evening. He suspected that they were not for his safety as he was told, but were there to spy on him.

He was silent and sneaky as ever, if the foreign guards or foriegn advisors caught him, he could be imprisoned, where he could do nothing at all for his people. So with quiet, speedy footsteps, he dodged past guards, slinked in the shadows, crawled underneath balconies, slid across ceramic tiled roofs and finally climbed the wall that separated the palace from the rest of Caldera. A gentle breeze rustled his clothes and swayed the trees above him as he raced through the noble neighborhoods, occasionally checking to see if they had thrown out any good food, which was unlikely, even the nobility were hitting hard times. 

Finally, he made it to the poorer neighborhoods, the ones who struggled to put meals on the table most nights. These smaller houses had no ornate designs and simple vegetable gardens, with families whose parents, grandparents and children, went to bed starving most nights and couldn’t afford a doctor let alone medicine when someone fell ill. These poorer neighborhoods where crime was common on the cobblestone streets and dark alleyways, where no one felt safe for fear of criminals and foreigners alike. These poorer neighborhoods where the Blue Spirit fought robbers and gangs and left food on the doorsteps. The poorer neighborhoods that Zuko desperately tried to help, but seemed to fail. The people who needed help seemed infinite, Zuko could only help a few in Caldera let alone the rest of the Fire Nation. 

He quickly distributed the rice, noodles, fruit and meat to each doorstep as well as he could before the curfew guards turned their attention to the street he was on. The flame in the lamp light behind him flickered. The Blue Spirit didn’t need to turn around to know what that meant. He slinked behind the wall and pulled himself up onto the roof, hidden in shadows. His mask shined eerily in the moonlight

The guards, dressed in dark blues and sharp spears passed by his hiding place without so much as a second glance. He smirked beneath his demon’s grimace. 

He leaped back down. He ran so fast he almost flew, his silent leather boots brushing soundlessly against the shadow dappled streets. He snaked back into the palace easily. The light from a window captured his eye, and drew him towards the building. It was Yumak’s personal quarters. What was he doing at one in the morning? He crawled underneath the window sill to eavesdrop.

"He's a nuisance." said Yumak. 

"He is nothing but boy-king, but he fights us on everything." replied Juro's voice. 

Zuko's heart begins to race. He breathes in sharply.

"We can't just wait for -what was that sound?" 

"Check the window."

Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure if I'm happy with how this chapter went...so if I go back and change anything important I'll put it in the notes on the next chapter. But anyway, please let me know your thoughts! I love to hear them. :) Also, I'm going to aim to update every other week.


	3. Katara's Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko makes some ditressing discoveries. Katara makes some difficult decisions, and searches for something to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! it's been a while, I've been really busy and will continue to be. Also, I got my Wisdom teeth out and I'm in quite a bit of pain. But I hope the chapter turned out okay. I made some important edits to chapters 1 and 2. So if you want to go reread those that might be a good idea. I hope they have improved. I am new to fanfiction writing so...I have a feeling that until I get a hang of this, going back and editing will be a thing. Sigh. It is what it is. I hope the flashbacks make sense. And... I hope you enjoy! :)

Yumak opened the window and scanned the surroundings. 

_ Don’t look down.  _

Zuko held his breath. He didn’t dare blink. 

Yumak stepped away from the window. Zuko didn’t risk a sigh of relief. 

“I should go.” said Juro. 

“Okay, well finish our discussion tomorrow.” 

Zuko waited for them both to leave. And then he snuck in through the still open window. 

Yumak’s office was covered in blue and animal skins sat on the floor. Zuko opened several drawers until he came across laws that the council had written and enforced. 

_ Under decree of the Royal Court of Fire Lord Zuko _

_ Sct 110 All firebenders must wear identifying wrist bands. Violation is punishable by 10 years in prison.  _

_ Sct 111 No firebender may bend unless a license is obtained.  _

_ Sbs 1 A license may be awarded based on a clean record and the necessity of firebending exclusively for work.  _

Zuko flipped several pages. 

_ Sct 231 No intermarriage between the people of Earth and the people of Fire.  _

_ Sct 232 No intermarriage between people of Water and people of Fire.  _

_ Sct 233 Any children born of an illegal union will be sent to an orphanage. Parents will face imprisonment.  _

He sucked in his breath. 

_ Sct 425 Fire Nation generals will be executed publicly without trial.  _

He flipped more pages.

_ Sct 436 Any citizen of the Fire Nation can be imprisoned indefinitely without trial or bail _ . 

Again he flipped pages. 

_ Sct 570 Wealth above the threshold amount must be registered.  _

_ Sct 571 All property, wealth and possessions of any Fire Nation citizen can be seized at any time.  _

_ Sct 572 Any citizen of the Fire Nation, suspected of any crime, can be searched as can their house, place of work and family.  _

The papers slipped from his fingers. He gathered them up quickly. 

His breaths came short and sharp. He began to look through the pile of reports on Yukon’s desk. There were riots across the Fire Nation. There was a Tsunami that devastated a town south and received no aid. A volcanic eruption in the North also received no aid. There were consistent food shortages, the Fire Nation was heading towards famine. And judging by the summer monsoon season, drought too. 

He should have listened to Mai. Before she left him, she told him, she'd warned him that he needed to be more suspicious of his advisors. But he had thought their attitudes were reflections of years of war between their nations. He hadn't realized the oppression was as appalling as it was. 

He had to go before Yukon heard him and checked his office. 

He returned to his rooms and immediately wrote a letter to Aang, he was just moments from placing it in an envelope and sealing it before it hit him _.  _

_ What if his advisors went through his mail, and realized what he knew.  _

He burned the letter. 

He clutched his head between his hands. He needed help so desperately. He was angry and lonely and frustrated and trapped. He wanted to break his desk and kick his chair and throw his books out the window. He wanted to burn the whole room down. 

Instead he sat on the floor, lit ten candles and meditated. 

* * *

Beneath the tall shadows of the Southern Air Temples, Katara wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered. The chill wouldn’t leave her until the sun rose high in the sky and warmed her skin. The morning air was icy cold. Snow blanketed the freezing stone beneath her feet. A storm blew it in last night, the night that she had spent awake. Even the high ceiling arches seemed to be sinking in on her. The biting cold and the great height used to exhilarate her, not exhaust her and confine her to sadness.

In his anguish, Aang had left on his glider the evening before and she didn’t know how long it would be until he returned. 

It was just two days from her sixteenth birthday. A big one for her in her tribe, yet she was miles from home. And it was her fault. 

It had taken her so long to realize that she and Aang didn’t fit. She wanted to give him what he wanted. She could never tell him no. She tried for nearly two years to love him the way he wanted her to. She thought she would love him that way and thought she could if she just tried hard enough. It took her about a year and a half to realize that she did love him dearly, but not the way he wanted her to, no matter how hard she tried. 

Sometimes, when she tried to convince herself, she reminded herself that she’d been jealous whenever Aang was with other girls. Whether it was the gaggle on Kyoshi Island, or the Fire Nation girl at the cave party, or girls they met on their travels since then. So she concluded that it had to be because she liked him. But she realized she’d been jealous only because she liked having his attention. She had been starved for it in the South Pole, where there were no other children her age and her father was gone and her mother was gone and she had to act like an adult. 

So when Aang came around full of laughter and fun and he gave her the attention she wanted, she didn’t want to share it. She liked feeling needed, she liked feeling wanted, and that’s what Aang gave her. She wanted to be his rescuer, the one who pulled him into her arms and comforted him until his tears stopped flowing. She wanted him to be dependent on her. But it wasn’t healthy for either of them. 

He was a dear friend, whom she would do anything for. But she did not see him as a partner in life for the rest of her days. She couldn't see herself being content in a marriage with him. 

But there was no easy way to explain that to him. 

When Aang had excitedly told her his plans to celebrate her birthday and they had not included going home, she didn’t have the heart to tell him she was interested. She wasn’t interested in much of anything anymore. 

_ “Its going to be great Katara!”  _

_ “First we’ll visit the Grand Canyon. We'll have a picnic while the sun rises. And then we’ll go to slide rock and slide down the Great waterfalls. And then we’ll visit the famous pie shop that they have there and then we’ll…”  _

_ As sweet and as thoughtful as his plans were for her, she didn’t want to go. She wanted to go home. When he wanted to travel, she wanted to stay put, but when she wanted to travel he wanted to stay put.  _

_ She couldn’t explain it.  _

_ She didn’t know how to tell him either. That was another problem she had created, she always listened to him and comforted him. But she didn’t know how to reach out to him when she needed someone. _

_ Sometimes she tried, with littler things. But it didn’t feel like he listened. And she knows she had a part in creating that, because she always gave in to him. She always wanted to see him smile.  _

_ Like when she told him she disliked being referred to as the “Avatar’s girlfriend” when she and Aang were at political events.  _

_ “But Katara, you  _ are  _ my girlfriend. What’s wrong with that?”  _

_ “Yes I know, but No, it's not that, it's just- I don’t know how to explain it-I just just feel like that’s all they see me as.” _

_ “That’s silly Katara. Stop worrying.”  _

_ He flashed her one of his big smiles and gave her a kiss.  _

_ She was his waterbending master, his friend, his girlfriend. She felt like her whole life revolved around him and she had let her identity get lost there somewhere.  _

_ There are other things too, big and little.  _

But she didn’t want to think about them.

She begins to pack up the bags, better to be ready to go when Aang came back.

_ Which is yet another problem you created Katara.  _ Her conscience tells her. 

She does most of the chores, like the laundry, the cooking, the sewing, the cleaning, the organizing, just to name a few. Like she did during the war. 

Aang wasn't useless or disrespectful, he did help. And he almost always helped with packing up. He did some other chores, like collecting firewood, and searching for edible vegetation. But she always felt like she was doing more and that he left her to do most of the work. But she could only blame herself for that, because she taught him that she always did those things. It was their norm, and to expect him to break out of that without any prompting was absurd. 

She sniffled. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. 

She’d broken his heart. 

And it was all her fault. 

_ She needed the lychee nuts for Momo, but she hadn’t found them anywhere. Either Momo had already eaten them or they were in Aang’s bag, which he had been very possessive of lately. Good thing he was looking for firewood.  _

_ She rummaged through his bag, until her fingers found something smooth and cold. It certainly wasn’t a lychee nut. She pulled it out. _

_ A betrothal necklace. In the dark blue stone Aang had carved an elegant breeze.  _

_ Dread settled in her stomach. If he asked her to marry him, she wouldn’t have the guts to tell him no. She suspected he would ask her on her birthday, since he said the plans were special.  _

_ She placed it back into his bag and covered her mouth.  _

_ This week before her birthday was her last chance to break up with him. She wouldn’t have the heart to do it when he asks her.  _

_ She just doesn’t know how say it.  _

She wiped her tears away and reminded herself it had to be done, for both their sakes. 

She finished packing. 

It was evening when Aang returned on his glider. His eyes were red and swollen. He said nothing. 

But he jumped onto Appa and waited for her to climb up before he said yip yip. 

It’s hours before either of them say anything. 

“What do we do now?” 

_ She’s not ready to go home. But she can’t stay with Aang anymore either.  _

“Would you drop me off on Kyoshi Island?” 

He gives a stiff nod and changes their flight course.

She’s so disgusted with herself. How could she have done this to him. She’d promised she’d be his family the last time they were at the Southern Air Temple. Now look at what she’s done. He can’t even look at her. 

_ “I love the vegetarian chili you made tonight Katara.  _

_ “That’s good Aang” _

_ It’s now or never.  _

_ “I need to talk to you about something important.” _

_ “What is it?” _

_ “We’ve been together for about a year and half now...it’s just…” _

_ How does she say this? She’s rehearsed a hundred different scenarios in her mind, but none of them seem right.  _

_ “Just what?” _

_ “You know how important you are to me right Aang?” She sets down her chili bowl. _

_ “Of course.” he smiled.  _

_ “It’s just sometimes you really love someone but you’re just not right for each other.” _

_ “Where are you going with this Katara?” He looked worried.  _

_ “I think we’re one of those couples.”  _

_ Aang jumps up.  _

_ “What? No! You’re my forever girl! We’re meant to be!” _

_ She closed her eyes.  _

_ “I’m sorry Aang, but we need to end this.” _

_ “But why?” he has. _

_ “Because...I don’t feel like myself anymore Aang.” _

_ “Then we’ll get you some help. Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” _

_ “That’s just it Aang, you don’t really listen to me!” _

_ “What are you talking about, I always listen to you!” _

_ “You’re not listening right now. I’m telling you, we need to break up!” _

_ “But you’re not telling me why, I can’t listen if you don't talk to me!” _

_ “Here we are again! I told you, you don’t listen to me!” _

_ “I’m just tired Aang. This relationship just isn’t working for me.  _

_ “Don’t you love me?” _

_ “I do, I love you. But I’m not in love with you.” It’s more complicated than that, but this was the simplest and clearest thing she could say to explain herself.  _

_ Aang looked shocked.  _

_ He pulled away from her. He snapped open his glider and flew away.  _

_ “Aang! Aang!” she calls.  _

She rested her head on her sleeping bag, perhaps sleep would stop her from going over her memories. She let Appa’s rhythmic flying soothe her to dreamless sleep. 

* * *

Appa was beginning his descent on Kyoshi Island. She squeezed his saddle.  _ What would everyone say? _

When Appa landed she jumped off with her bags. 

“Well, thanks Aang.” 

She saw him bite his lip. 

“Bye Katara.”

“Let’s go buddy.” He said to Appa. 

And with that he was gone. 

She turned around to face the villagers who had gathered in excitement. 

“Um, hi everyone…” said Katara.

“Where is Aangy going?” demanded Koko.

“He had Avatar stuff to attend to.” 

The guy behind Koko foamed at the mouth and passed out.

“Is Suki around?” 

“She’s visiting the South Pole right now.” said the mayor, Oyaji. 

“Is there somewhere else I could stay? I don’t actually have any money.”

“Of course, you’re always welcome here Katara. You could stay where you stayed before during the war or you could stay with my family.”

“Oh, I think..”

_ She wanted to be alone, but she also didn’t want to be haunted by memories. _

“I’ll stay with your family, thanks for the offer.” 

“Right this way, young lady.” 

A green creature lay sleeping beside Oyaji’s house. 

“Oh yes, after the war Suki came back with the eel hound. No one really knows what to do with it.”

He led her into the house. And directed her towards a room she could stay in. She thanked him and placed her bags on the bed. 

“I'll let you get some rest. Dinner will be ready around five.” 

She nodded. When he shut the door behind him she collapsed on the bed and fell back to sleep. She awoke to a comforting meaty smell wafting from the kitchen. She breathed in deeply and wiped the sleep from her eyes. 

She entered the kitchen. Oyaji’s wife was cooking what looked like chicken pork and veggie stirfry.

“Excuse me, is there anything I could help with?” she asked. 

“Oh no of course not. You’re our guest. I’m Laurie by the way. We met briefly a while back.” She smiled friendly. 

“I’m Katara.”

“Sit, have some tea. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“About what?”

“What’s bothering you?”

“How did you know?”

“It’s all over your face sweetie. And I’m a mom.” 

Oh how she missed her mom. How she wished her mom was here to give her advice. 

“Oh, I don’t think I’m ready to.”

“Well, when you are, I’m happy to listen. And you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

“Thank you.” her lip wobbled. 

“Children! Time for dinner.” she yelled out the window.

A boy and a girl came running into the house. 

The children set the table quickly before settling down in their seats. Oyaji also entered the house and placed his paperwork off to the side. He had been working late. 

“Thanks for making dinner tonight dear.” he said. 

“Usually Oyaji makes dinner,” said Laurie. 

“She hates cooking.” 

“I don’t hate it, I just don’t like it!” 

“How was your day kids?” asked Oyaji.

Laurie gave each child a kiss as she served out the meal. Katara looked down. She felt like watching was intruding on their family’s privacy. And their affection made her heart ache for her own long dead mother. 

“It was good. I got in a fight!” said the girl. 

“What happened, young lady?” said Oyaji sternly. 

“We had a wrestling match at recess, I beat Luna even though she’s like a foot taller than me.” 

“You know better than to be fighting at school.” chastised Laurie. 

“Sorry mum. It won’t happen again.” 

“Well I didn’t do anything fun today.” said the boy. 

“Did you at least learn anything new?” 

“No, school’s boring. I already know most of what they teach us.” 

“Who are you?” demanded the boy, eyeing Katara. 

“Ah, children, this is our guest Katara. Be polite to her.” 

“Hi kids.” She gave them a smile. 

“We’re done mum, can we be excused?” said the girl. 

“Sure honey.” 

The girl grabs her brother’s hand and pulls him to the door to go play. 

And it hits her just how badly she wants her own family. But she doesn’t know if she’ll ever find someone she wants it with. At the same time, she doesn’t want to give up making a difference in the world for a family. She wants to go do something, anything. But she doesn’t know what. 

00000

She spent nearly five months on Kyoshi Island. She felt stuck there as though she were waiting for a sign or a calling. She resisted going home. She felt blocked, like she couldn't return home until she accomplished something. When Suki returned from her visit to the South Pole she urged her to go home. She said everyone there wanted to see her, but Katara didn’t want to face them. 

She spent her time with Suki and learned a little bit of their warrior style. In return, they incorporated some elements of waterbending into their fighting. The Kyoshi style and waterbending already had many similarities so it blended well with their style and became an effective addition to their skill set. 

She also spent time helping with the children at the school. She taught an elective class on culture outside of Kyoshi Island, whom the children loved as much as they loved her. But still she felt dissatisfied and antsy. 

It was when a Fire Nation man washed up on the shores of Kyoshi island that she felt her calling. 

The man staggered onto the beach where the Kyoshi warriors had taken him down before realizing he wasn’t much of a threat. 

Katara was asked to tend to his wounds. He was pretty battered up. 

“What happened to you?” she asked him. 

“ I escaped the Fire Nation.”

“Why did you need to escape it? ” 

She knew first hand that the Fire Nation had been very closed off since the end of the war. Not only had Zuko not responded to any of her letters, but she and Aang had been denied entry into the Fire Nation several times.

“ It’s a disaster there. ”

“ What do you mean? ” 

But he had already passed out again.

She felt it in her bones, a thrum, a pulse, an energy. The drive that had so consumed her during the war had returned. Her feelings of purposeless receded. She was going to the Fire Nation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please! Comment, let me know what you think. I literally squeal and do a little happy dance when I get a comment in my email. Anything is appreciated. Plus, all your lovely comments motivate me.


	4. Sagyo Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious woman arrives at her final destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was made by procrastinating other work! I hope you enjoy!

_ 8 years ago: Sagyo Camp _

The woman woke to keys rattling at her prison cell and the scent of pine leaves and the touch of chilly breeze. The air was thick with heaviness, apprehension and fear. The dread settled in her empty stomach like the weighty anchor sunk to the sea floor. Her breaths came with difficulty, she felt like someone had wrapped chains around her chest, constricting her lungs and heart. Without being told, she knew they had arrived.

Once again, soldiers forced her up and off the ship, she stumbled and tripped and they paid no mind. She thought she saw the Captain out of the corner of her eye, his satisfied smirk consuming his face and spreading to his eyes.

The wretched man. She cursed him silently.

Once outside the bright light was harsh on her eyes and she blinked until she adjusted. Icy snow patches lay on the dark earth floor where her shoeless toes went numb, her feet and the soldiers’ boots crunched the snow. In front of her, massive dark bodies jetted into the sky, it took her a moment to realize that they were mountains. Dark green forests and crisp white snow covered their tips. Before her, was a series of dark buildings that sprawled along the foothills of the mountains. The roofs were sharp and black and pointed. The bodies of the buildings were a deep brown. They almost blended into the landscape. 

Dark clouds hung high above the mountains, shrouding them in shifting shadows. The forest beyond and the mountains themselves had an ominous aura to them, they emitted an eerie inhuman energy. Perhaps the spirits were angry. 

But why that the unidentifiable feeling that omitted from the woods called to the blood in her veins and pulsed with the same rhythm as her heart, she had no answer for. It drew her flesh towards the mountains like nothing she had experienced before; a senseless siren’s call of powerful emotion, it sang of great misery and agony, so perhaps it was her soul in pain that cried out to it for relief. But she resisted, she did not know what it wanted from her, and at least here she was with other people, even if they confined her to a life of torment. The people here might imprison her body, but spirits there might steal her soul. 

She dared not mention the presence to anyone else, anyone else would think she was insane she thought, but she was certain there was something different about those woods as she was sure that this place would never be home. 

Further down there was a flurry of sounds and action. But she didn’t recognize what they were doing. 

She let out a heavy sigh. Her breath froze in front of her. Just like it did at home. 

She was never returning home. 

The other prisoners lined up beside her. 

Next to the Captain walked two identical elderly women. The first thing she noticed was how in sync they walked with each other. The second, was that ears were very long and baggy, skin crinkled around their eyes and their clothes were sharp and elegant. Their hair was done up in large oblong buns. 

They inspected each prisoner carefully. They eyed her with extra interest when the captain whispered in their ears. 

The two women stood close together, and moved and spoke as though they were reflections of each other in the mirror and could read each other’s minds. 

“I’m Li” 

“And I’m Lo.”

“We’re in charge here and we expect you to behave,” said Li. 

“Our facilities are well kept and you will have enough to eat. This isn’t a prison. It's a work camp.” said Lo. 

They continued to alternate when they were speaking. 

“You will each be given assignments and you will remain in your designated assignment unless we believe you are suited better for somewhere else.”

“Like the boiling Rock prison, no one has ever escaped this work camp, but any escape attempts will be met with severe punishments, including death.”

“This is an island. To the north is the forest and the mountain range, both are impenetrable. Those who have gone in haven’t returned. Other than that, we are surrounded by cold ocean waters. You would drown before you reached the mainland, waterbender or not.” Their voices were cold and cheerless.

“Well, I think that’s all!” they said quite brightly, contrasting starkly with their earlier tones. 

“Welcome to Sagyo Camp!”

Li and Lo clapped their hands together excitedly as though they had not given a dreary and introduction. 

“Now let's get you your assignments and barracks!” 

The woman peered around at the other prisoners. They too looked unsettled. 

Two soldiers grabbed the woman and directed her elsewhere, away from the others that she had arrived with. 

“Where are you taking me?”

Li and Lo’s voices responded from behind her. 

“Elsewhere, it is not your concern.” 

Her feet landed on sharp rocks, cutting into the soft skin and dragging red across the white snow patches. Her hair hung in front of her face, she flipped her head in hopes that her hair would fall behind her, but it remains an unkept mess, skewing her vision. 

Finally they came to one of the buildings that she had seen from afar. 

They entered into a long hallway, the floor was made of smooth polished wood. Sliding doors lined along each side. A single guard stood in front of each door.

“Put her in the one on the end” said one of the old women.

“Yes ma’am” 

They slid open the door and shoved her in. The room was barren but clean. The bed was small but soft. A warm black blanket covered the bed. 

“Wait, what do you want with me?” she demanded.

“You’re a feisty one.” said Li.

“Not many ask questions here. You’ll learn its best for your health if you don’t” said Lo. 

“But you may think of this particular section as the research facility” said both of them together.

“Behave and we won’t re assign you to the coal or iron mines.” said Li.

“Tread carefully dear” said Lo. 

She glared at them.  _ Don’t call me dear.  _

They smiled wickedly. The door slid shut and locked behind them. 

She found simple black clothes in her sparse dresser. She had three days worth in there, as well as a hair brush and socks. She changed into the clothes quickly, mostly because they were warm. She would miss her dress, it was all she had left of home. 

Then she crawled under the blanket and let the tears that she had suppressed for so long to fall. She cried until her throat was raw and her lungs screamed for breath. She cried until her eyes were red and swollen. She cried until she couldn’t. She cried until she felt numb and empty inside. 

* * *

“Dinner time”

She opened her eyes blearily and forced herself up despite feeling like her limbs were made from lead and her muscles made from seaweed. 

The door slid open again and her guard announced that he would escort her to dinner. 

“You'll remember the way back?”

“Yes.”

The cafeteria was orderly, her fellow prisoners were quick and efficient about getting their meals, Clearly, they knew the routine. Prisoners assembled in lines to receive their food then sat in rows at tables. Hardly anyone spoke and it all seemed stiff and forced to her, but with the guards stationed at every table and at every door, there was no privacy. 

She chose chicken and vegetarian stir fry. The smell alone made her mouth water, she let the warmth of the bowl seep into her hands, it was hardly any comfort but it was the only comfort she had so she savoured it. Her throat was dry and itchy, but there was no liquid or drink of any kind to be seen. 

Without much thought, she sat at the first empty seat she found and scarfed down her meal. It was the first real nourishment she had had since she was captured. She didn’t care that grease dribbled down her chin. 

“You must be new.”

“Yes.” She eyed him warily. He might be in a similar position as her, but that didn’t make him trustworthy. He was of medium height, and he had a long face and short dark brown hair.

She did a double take in surprise.

He had blue eyes.

She looked around her, just about everyone of the people there had blue eyes and tan skin too. 

“What’s your name?” 

She still didn’t know if she trusted him. He smiled warmly. 

“I know, it's not easy to trust.” 

She stared at the rice remaining in her bowl. 

“My name is Inuk” 

She still wouldn’t reply. A bell rang. She started for a moment. 

She turned back to Inuk with a questioning expression. 

“That means dinner is over” he told her. 

“Okay.”

* * *

About an hour after dinner a man wearing black and red robes with came to her room. 

“Hold out your arm”

“Why”

“Just do it”

She held it out and he turned her wrist around so he could access the inside. He took out some tools and poked her with sharp needles until her arm was red, irritated and swollen. 

She wanted to pull away but she wasn’t about to show that she was in pain. 

Then he pulled out another foriegn object. He grabbed her other wrist, she pulled back and held it away from him for as long as she could, but he was stronger and in a moment he was using that strange object to draw her blood from her skin. 

A part of her was horrified while the other part was fascinated. 

He pulled out a notebook and wrote down some observations. 

“How do you feel during the full moon?” he asked. 

“Um...no different.” 

He scribbled something else down and left. 

Once again, her door slid open. But this time it was the captain.

“I told you, you wouldn’t be a prisoner.” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t see how this is any different. You’re just calling it something else.”

He laughed. “Oh trust me, it's different.”

“But knowing your attitude, one way or another you’ll get reassigned to the coal mines. It’s miserable down there.”

“Why bother saying goodbye to me?”

“Why I’m savouring the moment. This will go down in the history books.”

She ducked her head and hid the truth in her eyes.

“Good bye” he said and finally she was rid of him. 

She took a deep breath, slipped under her covers and let herself slip into the void of sleep. 

That morning when she woke, the swelling had gone enough to make out something on her wrist. The characters were indistinguishable to her, but it was clearly a numeral tattoo of some sort. 

* * *

There was a knock and rattle at the door as someone unlocked her room, “time to get up and line up”

She peered out her door timidly, and followed the line up that developed. The man who had stuck needles in her arm the night before placed her in a group of three other prisoners. 

She noticed she was paired with Inuk and another man who looked to be in the same age range as Inuk. Perhaps their early forties. She caught Inuk’s eye and he gave a small absent nod, but his eyes looked like they were somewhere else. 

Guards led the three of them to a white room with a bench and tools in it. The guards chained them and left. 

They sat there in silence.

She didn’t want to give into the burning desire to have her questions answered, and she didn’t want to trust anyone there. But she couldn’t stand it. 

She whispered the first question she had, the one that had itchd in her brain since the night before, “why do they treat us so well?” 

“Because they need us to be healthy,” said Inuk.

“Why?”

“Because we’re experiments.” replied the other man. 

“I’m Miska, by the way. What's your name?” he continued. Miska had long hair tied back in a low ponytail. His features were harsh and he was a good few inches shorter than her.

She stiffens. Giving away her name is like giving away part of her identity. She feels like once she tells someone, another little piece of home will be taken away from her. She wanted to keep it to herself. 

“You don’t have to say, not if you don’t want to,” soothed Inuk.

“What do you mean by experiments?” she asked.

“I’m not entirely sure. But they want us for something. It's better here than the work camp” said Inuk.

“I don’t care that they treat us well here, we’re still prisoners. They should have the decency to at least admit that.” 

she started to say “what are they going to do us-”

The three of them heard footsteps in the hallway. 

“Hush” said Miska. 

The man who had poked her with needles and assigned her to her group walked in. He was followed by a tall elegant woman wearing long red robes. She was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, but she had a deep sorrow in her angled eyes. Her sharp, delicate features and gold eyes were striking. 

“Hello,” she said. 

The pretty woman stepped gracefully towards the three prisoners, glanced down at her wrist and gently picked it up. 

“What did you do to her?” she asked angrily. Even angry her voice was soothing and melodic. She had to be a noble woman of some sort. 

“It’s just a numbering system, it's how we keep track of everyone here.” 

“It looks painful, and it's going to get infected! I was told that the people here were treated better. You’d better wrap this up.” 

“You might be used to ordering people around, princess, but if you want to keep your children healthy and alive you will remember that I am in charge here.”

She looked scared.

“You wouldn’t really” she said softly.

“Oh I would, I’ll remind you I have direct correspondence with your husband.” 

She sighed. 

“Do you remember how to collect the data?” 

“Yes, I do” she said in a resigned voice.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to work with them and I’ll move onto the next group. Remember to ask the guards to take them to the workshop when you’re done.”

He left. 

The pretty woman turned to the three of them and said, “I’d rather not refer to you as numbers, what are your names?” 

None of them said anything. 

She gave them a small smile but she seemed too sad for it to be genuine and said “Should I go first then?” 

They still gave her no answer.

“Well, my name is Ursa.” she said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thou must comment! For comments from thee fuel my motivation and give me life! I cannot read minds, how tragic is my life!
> 
> Okay, my dramatic attempt at a being Shakespeare was totally funny, right? I know I'm not funny but indulge me. Haha. 
> 
> But all jokes aside, I love hearing feedback. Also let me know, did I surprise anyone? Was there anything in particular that stuck out to you? Anything you liked? 
> 
> That's all folks! Gotta run!


	5. Travel and Near Death Experiences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What! You think I'm giving it away? :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. It's been a while. I've been really busy. I hope you enjoy! Oh and thank you to my beta reader.

Zuko calmed himself during the meditation; he breathed in, he breathed out. He sensed the warmth of his inner flame connect with the candles around him and in that he found solace. His heart rate slowed and his breathing evened out. 

But then he heard a snap outside his window and tensed. 

His good ear zeroed in on it. He let the flames die out, and stood up silent as a night owl, not even his clothes rustling. 

He watched his window like a hawk as it slid open slowly, seemingly of its own accord. He didn’t freeze in place, but instinct told him to stay motionless. Something, or someone, stepped softly into his room. He couldn't make out the shape even though he squinted. The person’s black clothes blended seamlessly into the dark room. Zuko’s heart began to race against his chest. 

His only advantage; the intruder did not seem to realize that he already knew of his presence. 

The intruder tiptoed toward the bed, and Zuko only had seconds to decide what to do before he realized he wasn’t asleep. 

The intruder flipped around and something flashed towards Zuko, the light of the moon filtering in through the curtains hitting it just right. The knives missed his throat by a hair's breadth. He’d be lucky he didn’t even get grazed, except it wasn’t lucky to have an assassin in his room in the first place; that’s the kind of luck he’s always had, the bad kind. 

“Guards, intruder!” Called Zuko. 

No one responded, and Zuko knew the doors were locked. He rolled his eyes.  _ What was the point of guards.  _ He could handle this on his own just fine anyway. 

But his swords laid on the other side of the room. He could use flames, but that would give away exactly where he stood and illuminate the rest of the room to the assassin. Zuko knew his room, he knew where the chair was, he knew where the books were, he knew where the ink was and where any number of things he could use were. 

Something shifted in front of him —the assassin had also migrated to the other side of the room. The intruder lurched forward with a fist, and Zuko responded with eager retaliation. He hadn’t had a good spar in a while and everything was frustrating. The assassin and Zuko blocked with solid palms and aimed with furious fists. Neither could get the upper hand, so Zuko backed up against the wall and he ducked; the assassin’s fist hit the wall. 

“Agh!” He yelled. 

The assassin seemed overwhelmed by Zuko’s response, perhaps he thought Zuko would be easy prey. The assassin pulled out a dagger, the silver glinting even in the dark. He slashed around wildly, and Zuko dodged back and forth, side to side, and drew him to the other side of the room. Zuko jumped forward and grabbed his wrist, forced him to drop it, and kicked it across the room. 

The assassin struggled until Zuko had to release him, he aimed another fist forwards and Zuko slid to the side before moving backwards, luring him again to the opposite side of the room. He maneuvered his way over to his wooden chair and the assassin followed him — he was nothing more than a slight shift in the dark, but he gave himself away. The man tripped over something on the floor, and Zuko took the chance to end the fight. He flipped the chair out from behind him and bashed the assassin over the head. While he was still dazed he splashed ink in his face, and slipped a foot in between his feet and knocked his stance apart. He flipped him onto his back and twisted his arms behind his back.

He hit the assassin over the head again to knock him out. He banged on the doors until they opened. 

Why didn't you come help me?" he gestured downward, "Someone came here to . . . they were throwing knives at me!" demanded Zuko. 

“We were told not to disturb you tonight.”

Zuko’s eyes narrowed. 

“We’ll alert Yukon and Juro,” said the guard.

Zuko raised his hand and gestured to him to stop.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

“I already did,” another one stated.

Zuko hailed the man up and threw him to the guards who dragged him away. 

When Yukon and Juro arrived they looked displeased. He couldn’t help but suspect they wanted him dead, especially after the conversation he had overheard. 

* * *

Katara rushed through the wooden house and gathered her things. She packed her bags almost frantically, shaking with excitement. She tossed her extra clothes, her brush, her scrolls and her sleeping bag into her largest bag and grabbed her leather backpack, in which she packed jerky, fruit, rice and vegetables and pulled over her shoulders. She snatched her money bag. Enthusiasm bubbled up in her chest. 

She strode outside with renewed purpose. Oyagi 

“Where are you headed in such a hurry, Katara?” Oyagi asked.

“To the Fire Nation. The man who washed up on the beach, he said he escaped. There’s something off. I have to go see what’s going on.” 

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go running into something like this,” Oyagi scrunched his nose in concern. 

There was something suspicious going on in the Fire Nation and she was the girl for the job. She knew she needed to go there. 

“I’ll be fine!” 

“The Fire Nation isn’t really any of your concern though,”

“Have you forgotten I helped end the war?” she demanded. 

He sighed. 

“There isn’t any stopping you, is there?” 

“Nope,” she said brightly. 

“How are you getting there?” 

“I was hoping I could take the eel-hound.”

“Of course, I have no clue what to do with that thing.” 

“Thank you so much for your hospitality. It’s meant a lot to me.”

“Of course Katara. Any friend of the Avatar is a friend of ours.”

And just like that her heart sank to her stomach. All the resentment and frustration came back like a rockslide. She stopped herself from asking if that’s the only reason why they’d been so kind. She had elsewhere to be.

“I’m going to go find Suki before I go,” she announced. 

She said goodbye to various people as she made her way to Suki’s. 

She knocked on Suki’s home nervously, the girl might try to stop her from going. She wanted her to go home. Katara wanted to go home. She missed her father, her Gran-Gran and her brother, she missed her whole tribe. She missed the frozen glaciers and the icy water, and even the midday sun. She missed snowflakes on her tongue and the fluffiness of freshly fallen snow. She longed for warm nights cuddling with her family next to the crackling fireplace savoring hardy stew. She ached to revel in the absolute silence after a blizzard storm and to feel her feet sink into the snowy floor. She recalled the way the sun sparkles against the ice and snow. She dreamed of going home, but there was this barrier in her mind. 

She couldn’t go home, not yet, not when she itched to do something, when she still itched to make a difference. Her life would be worth remembering for what she did, not who she associated herself with. Though she did hate that people thought of her as only an associate, a friend, a companion, girlfriend and master of the Avatar, she knew there was something more to this frustration. There was something she feared confronting. But she wouldn’t confront it today. 

The door creaked open. It wasn’t Suki, but it was her mother. 

“Hello Katara, Suki isn’t here right now, she and the warriors are on a retreat this weekend.” 

Relief and guilt washed over her. 

“Oh, could you tell her I’m leaving and I said bye?” 

“Of course. She’ll be so happy to hear you’re going home.” 

“Thanks, and have a nice weekend,” Katara replied as she gave a small smile. She didn’t need to tell the woman where she was actually going. Finally, Katara made her way to the field where the eel-hound stayed. She pulled off his collar and jumped onto the eel hound

“Let’s go,” she said. 

The eel-hound just sat there. “Oh, I guess that’s not it.” 

“What about...move it?”

“...or giddyup?” 

The eel hound just sat and licked its paws. 

She flopped her legs in frustration and the eel hound dashed into action. He slammed into the ocean water without stopping. Salt water and wind slapped her face. She giggled. 

His movements became more elegant as he slipped into a rhythm. The creature’s muscles contracted and flexed with precision and speed as he swam west.

“I guess we figured out how to make you go!” She patted him on the shoulder. 

A funny feeling settled into her stomach. She certainly hoped they were heading west, but she wasn’t sure. She’d forgotten a map. Not that she was particularly skilled with cartography, that was more Sokka’s expertise, but still she could have at least taken a look. She sighed. She’d have to ask for directions on the nearest island, she didn’t want to return to Kyoshi for a simple map. Since when has she become so irresponsible? 

* * *

The sun, high in the sky when she arrived on a neighboring island, casted short midday shadows on the grassy ground. She wiped sweat from her brow. Only half a day had passed and she already hated riding, her arms and legs ached from the constant undulations of the eel hound. 

She walked up to the nearest vendor, one selling various beans and vegetables, and asked 

“Is there somewhere I could buy a map and get some directions?”

“Sure, take two rights and go straight from here.”

“Thanks.”

She trekked over to the little shop that the vendor had directed her towards. It was small but well kept, she noticed, as she flipped through maps hoping to find a simple one. She picked one and proceeded to the counter. 

“What do you want with a Fire Nation map, girl?” 

“I’m headed over there.” 

“You wanna stay out of their business, you’re clearly not Fire Nation.” 

“So? I can still make a difference.” 

“Nah, it’s a disaster over there. You’re safer far away from that trash-fire of a country.” 

“Have you heard news?”

“Some Fire Nationers passed on through here, they were pretty beat up. Spoke of riots and violence.” 

“But other than that, things are pretty hush hush.”

“We traded with the Fire Nation, even during the war, and we still do but they sure seem different. The traders that is.”

“How so?”

“I dunno, jus’ different.” 

Katara’s eyebrow jerked in irritation. 

“Could you describe it for me?” 

“Oh yeah know, they seemed tired and poor, usually the merchants seemed well off during the war.” 

“Okay, thanks for the information.”

“Sure, sure.”

When she left the little shop, she paused in the shade and closed her eyes in thought. She tugged her braid out, which already hung loose and wild from her ride, and ran her fingers lazily through her tangles. She pulled it back into a thick ponytail. She sucked down the remaining water in her water skins and snacked on some berries. 

She pulled out her map and oriented herself, she had already made a good trajectory. She needed to adjust her course to go more north. 

* * *

The rest of Katara’s journey was difficult, but uneventful. There was no land for several days and as such she could not camp, so she slept on the eel-hound’s back as he swam across the ocean. 

She was too tired to deal with the proper Fire Nation entry points, which had been set up after the war. They were supposed to monitor who went in and out of the Fire Nation, but as far she knew, they didn’t allow anyone in or out. She and Aang had been denied entry at every one of them, and she did not have the patience to be denied again. Instead, she waited for cover of darkness and snuck in, and though she was nearly caught by patrolmen, it was easier than she expected. 

She made it about halfway to Caldera before she decided to camp during the day. She was exhausted and didn’t want to get caught anyway. 

However, filled with nervous energy, she couldn’t sleep. She changed into her Fire Nation clothes and decided to visit the closest village, she would resume her travel when night fell. 

She walked cautiously;her blue eyes and tan skin were a dead give away that she was a foreigner. 

Nobody seemed to pay her any mind as she watched as skinny children who sat slumped on porches, too hungry and tired to play, and too poor to afford school. An elderly woman wearing dirty rags for clothes shook a tin can with a couple coins at her. Katara’s heart ached for these people. She placed all the coins she had brought with her into the can. 

“Thank you, young lady,” she croaked. 

Katara pulled out her water skin and handed it to the woman, who drank gratefully. 

The woman gave her a small smile and Katara gave her a soft smile in return. 

“I wish I could do more,” she whispered as she began walking again. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a little boy snatch some bread off a vendor’s cart. She doesn’t have the heart to stop him. 

Guards wearing blues and greens marched past her. The villagers seemed to shrink and move away as they passed. 

By the time she left, she was seething. 

How could Zuko have let this happen? He’s going to hear a piece of her mind when she arrives. She’ll tear him down. 

She returned to camp in the evening and swung back onto the eel-hound. 

* * *

Yukon came in to check on her. He did that sometimes. The crazy princess had to be monitored. 

“Is she drugged?” asked Yukon.

“Of course, that was the orders sir,” said the guard 

The girl released a string of manic laughter and contorted her body in a gruesome fashion. 

She rolled her eyes back in her head. Even drool dropped from the corner of her mouth. 

Yukon jumped back, spooked. He still found the girl’s behavior unsettling. 

“She doesn’t seem drugged,” observed Yukon. 

“She is,” 

“Increase the dosage,” 

The guard nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Azula,” Yukon addressed the girl in the cell. 

She tilted her head and looked at him without looking at him, her eyes passed through him as though she saw something behind him. She looked lost in the other land. He smiled, he felt great satisfaction that the Fire Nation’s prideful princess now sat languidly in a jail cell, her mind gone. She was the symbol of the Fire Nation’s defeat, and that is why he kept her. That and any knowledge she might have on her brother, he could leverage information like that. 

She dragged herself up and across the floor, her body seeming too heavy for her. 

“You’re nothing now,” he said. 

She laughed, her head lolling back against the cell wall. She lifted her arm and pointed lazily at nothing, as though her finger followed an invisible butterfly. Her expression appeared blank and listless. 

“Your brother,” he started.

“Tell me anything about him, especially weaknesses, ” he had asked this question before. He’d found even one word or even nonsense answers had helped him think. 

When he mentioned her brother, her eyes snapped back to him, her viciousness was so tangible in her stare he thought he could feel her madness creep into him. He shivered.The insanity behind her eyes disturbed him. 

She let out a demented scream. 

Yukon jerked back in surprise, as though splashed with ice water. His dark eyes followed her every move. He had a morbid fascination with her madness. It repulsed him and yet he could not deny his fascination with it. The hairs on his back stood up straight. He resisted the urge to flee. He gripped the chair behind him as his heart stuttered. 

She peered up at him again. Her face contorted while her hands curled like they would produce lighting once more. The hatred she exuded pushed him over the edge. His resolve broke and he dashed out. His fists held tightly and his blue robes flapping behind him.

Beneath tangled hair, she smirked. She ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing it back. And drew herself up into a pose more dignified for a princess. Her amber gold eyes glinted with amusement. 

_ Well, That was entertaining _ . 

She sat back and sighed, her fun over for the day. She took a moment to inspect her nails. 

She stretched and yawned and smirked again. 

Let them think she was mad. She had more clarity than she had ever before. Let them think they could control her.  _ It will be all the more satisfying when she flips the world out from beneath their feet and crushes them underneath her power. _ She must simply play her part well. Each chess piece will slide into place. She will wait patiently, a predator watching her prey, a spider spinning her web, a general planning her strategy. 

“Guard, go get some cherries,” she ordered, glancing out of the corner of her eye. 

“Yes, Princess.” 

“And make sure they’re pitted.” 

Yukon didn’t realize she snaked her words into the guards’ minds. She spent her time in her cell honing and developing her talents in lies and manipulation. She developed a new skill too; she learned to read people better than before. Now, she could pick up on the most subtle behavior, or the slightest detail from which she could deduce something about a person. And knowledge gives her power. 

Give her enough time and she can manipulate anyone to her will, she can bend their mind and sculpt their opinions to fit her own purposes. Given time and knowledge, She can make anyone her slave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts if you want to share. I love seeing them. :)


	6. A Woman with No Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Experiments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really nervous about this chapter, I'm concerned that what I have written is too different from the atmosphere of avatar. If the Sciency stuff that I wrote is something you liked or disliked, please let me know, I'm very curious. And I don't know how the OC's will be received either.   
> Also, I tried to wait until this chapter was beta read, but I got too nervous. Oops, but I hope you enjoy!   
> Oh also, those of who want to know about my other fic, "Starry Nights," I actually haven't decided where I'm going to go with it yet. I hope that I can update soon, but I can't promise anything.

8 years ago:

Ursa waited attentively as Miska and Inuk responded to her inquiry with their names. But the woman stared at her and refused to give her her own name, instead she squeezed her black pants and narrowed her eyes.

No matter the kind demeanor, lyrical voice and sorrowful atmosphere that Ursa possessed, the woman did not trust her. For all she knew Ursa was a spy, sent there to gain their trust and learn their secrets. Ursa was no different than the others she thought. Clearly the other two were also wary. She hoped they were, or else she would be alone in this fight.

The woman’s eyes met Ursa’s and she gave her a soft, sad smile, one that just quirked around her mouth and barely spread to her eyes. It seemed like she was trying to offer the woman comfort, but the woman didn’t want comfort from the enemy. The woman only glared at her in disgust. A cold draft of air hit her neck and goosebumps scattered across her back. She pulled her arms around herself and rubbed her hands against her arms in an attempt to warm up, but she shivered anyway. 

“Okay, today is testing and data collection,” she said. 

“Yeah, yeah, we know the routine,” huffed Miska, who rolled his eyes. 

Inuk shook his head at him and glanced nervously towards Ursa, but she did not seem bothered by his rudeness. He moved forward, but not far, the chains kept him mostly in place. 

“I see. We are incorporating some new techniques today,” said Ursa, as she pulled her long dark hair behind her ear. 

“First I think we should start off with blood samples though,” 

Miska raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you people give us a blow by blow?” 

“Since I started working here,” she replied firmly, as though chastising a child. 

She glanced over towards the woman, “are you cold,” she asked. 

“No,” 

“Just in case, you should take my cloak.” Ursa slipped off her cloak and offered it to the woman, who reached out and took it reluctantly. She tugged it around her shoulders and the soft, heavy warmth enclosed her quickly, and despite her distaste of the elegant rich clothes she could not deny she enjoyed being cozy. 

The woman watched as Ursa performed the same disturbing ritual that she had experienced the night previously. She shuddered in anticipation of her turn. The mere thought of the unfamiliar, sharp object pressed into her veins and drawing her precious blood into the strange container repulsed her. 

But when her turn came it didn’t seem as bad as before, though she still disliked the sharp pressure on and in her skin and she hated the way her dark blood slowly filled the object. This could be some despicable way to drain a person of the will to live, this object stole her lifeblood, it contradicted the laws with which she grew up with as a child, the remaining vestiges of her culture taught her that blood was sacred, and she believed that robbing her of her blood was as savage and cruel as the legendary creatures on the tundra that sucked the blood of humans and animals alike to live. Perhaps the spirits would condemn her for it, but she could do next to nothing to stop it, and she had little reason to try, as long as her children were safe she did not care what anyone did with her.

“What is that thing?” Asked the woman, peering at it warily.

“It’s called a syringe,” replied Ursa. 

She pulled out another syringe.

“Who wants to go first?” Inuk raised his hand hesitantly. Ursa walked over to him and rolled his sleeve up gently, and then she pressed the syringe, which contained a glowing white liquid of some sort, into his arm. 

“Miska?” She said, almost as if she were asking permission.

He glared at her and shoved his sleeve up. She gave him the same liquid that she gave Inuk. Then it was the woman’s turn. She tensed her body. 

“This might feel funny, but it’s best if you relax,” she warned her. 

Ursa stuck the syringe into her skin once again, the sharp discomfort in comparison to the tingling cold and numbness that creeped up her arm. When Ursa finished, the woman pulled her arm away and rubbed it, but as her fingers brushed her arm it felt like she touched an object, perhaps a spear or a pot, certainly not a part of her body. 

“Why can’t I feel my arm?” She asked. 

_ What other disturbing ceremonies did this country have? It was no longer a mystery to her how this place created so many monsters. _

“It’s nothing to worry about, it’ll wear off soon. It’s just a side effect from the glucose I gave you.” 

“Glucose?” 

“It’s just sugar,” 

“Why did you give us sugar?” Asked the woman. She sat up straight, she didn’t know what they were doing with her, but she might as well remain dignified. 

“Well, your brain uses glucose to function, and we—well, I’m not really supposed to discuss  _ why _ but—this particular form of radioactive glucose helps us understand what’s going on in the brain,” 

Out of the corner of her eye, the woman saw Miska and Inuk as they exchanged an perplexed look.

“What’s radioactive?” Miska asked. Inuk’s mouth moved slightly like he wanted to say something, but he refrained. From the way he clenched his jaw and eyed the contents of the syringe, the woman suspected he already knew what the substance was. 

Ursa held out her hands to reassure them. 

“It’s safe—I picked the plants and made this myself— and I mean it’s safe as long as this doesn’t become an everyday experiment.” 

“Well that’s comforting,” groaned Miska, who glared at Ursa. 

Inuk appeared stiff and attentive with his knuckles gripping the edge of his seat. 

She remained unfazed by both of the men.

“How does that work?” Asked the woman. She folded her hands in front of her since they itched to twist and clutch her pants to release their nervous energy. 

“A machine is able to pick up on the radio active glucose, the glucose gathers where the brain is most active.” 

“Okay…” said the woman. Miska interrupted her thoughts with an angry look in his eye. 

“But why—why do this to us?” Snarled Miska, who seemed ready to pounce onto Ursa if it weren’t for the chains keeping him in place.

“I’m not able—”

“—what is it with you people, you think that you treat like animals, but we’re people and then you don’t even bother telling us  _ why” _

“I cannot tell you.” She repeated stoically. 

“Can’t, or  _ won’t _ ?” He challenged her.

“There are dire consequences for me if I did.” 

“Psh right. You’re no different from the rest of them,” Miska snapped. 

Inuk bit his lip, his eyebrows scrunched together in concern. 

“I do not want to be here either, nor do I want to perform these experiments on you,” said Ursa calmly.

“I don’t believe you—you enjoy this or you don’t care—but it’s not possible for you to be anything but evil, you have a choice to be here, unlike us. You can’t imagine our pain!” he yelled.

Ursa’s face dimmed and she tilted her head down to look him hard in the eye, almost as if she were dealing with a smart-mouthed, unruly child. 

“I am truly sorry for your situation. However, I am a prisoner here as well, and perhaps you should think twice before commenting about other people’s lives of which you know nothing about,” whispered Ursa. 

“I think I know enough, that little act earlier doesn’t have us fooled. We can see right through you and your little games,” said Miska, breathing heavily. 

Inuk grabbed Miska back and whispered something in his ear, which neither of the women could hear, but it seemed to draw back the wild ferocity that had been in his eyes before. 

Ursa sighed heavily as the tension left her shoulders and her hands relaxed around the clipboard she gripped. “We must work together in a manner of speaking, so let try to do the best we can,” 

“Work together my a—” began Miska, who stopped at the sight of Inuk shaking his head and Ursa’s eyebrow raised in disapproval. 

“Fine,” he said, like it physically pained him to do so, 

“Good, now that we have that settled, don't we get back to work?” 

“What other choice do we have—I mean—of course.” 

Ursa gave a small nod, as though accepting his half hearted attempt to be agreeable. 

Ursa then placed a silver helmet-like object onto the table.

“Would you mind going first Inuk?”

“Sure,” he said, resigned. 

“Thank you,” 

“Oh uh, yeah,” 

“Okay, we’re just going to slip this over your head and . . .”

She secured the helmet object with a strap beneath his chin. 

“. . .we’re good to go.” 

A long wire hung from the helmet. Ursa opened a drawer and pulled out a very large black box like object, it had various knobs and buttons and keys that appeared a mystery to the woman, but she let her curiosity go and sat silently as she watched Ursa attach the wire that hung from the helmet to the back box object.

“Okay, we’re about to start Inuk.” 

“Do I need to do anything?” 

“No, not today. For the next few days we’re just getting basics. Just stay still right now, eventually we’ll have you waterbending while we do this.” 

_ No.  _ The woman’s heart sunk to her stomach like a lump of lead. The feeling twisted and coiled in her gut. Nausea writhed in her throat. She fisted the cloak tighter around herself. 

Ursa must have noticed a change in her expression because she turned towards her and opened her mouth as though she were going to say something, but then she froze. 

She then turned back to Inuk and asked “ready?”

He nodded.

She pressed a button and then began taking notes. 

Miska went next, but before the woman could go they were interrupted by the same man who had been in the room that morning. A woman who accompanied him twirled a dart nonchalantly in her hands. They appeared to be finishing a conversation and ignored the occupants in the room. 

Ursa paused work and asked, “How can I help you Charong?” She might as well have been invisible. 

“Oh and I can’t believe I nearly forgot to tell you--the mechanic finally finished the project we asked him to complete,” said Charong. 

“You say that like it took him forever,” replied the dart twirling lady. 

“The deadline we gave him passed months ago—” he argued. 

“Oh please, it’s not exactly an easy task to create cuffs that  _ block  _ chi and  _ stop  _ bending,” she rolled her eyes, exasperated. 

“But the guy’s a  _ genius _ , for all we know, he stalled it or tried to hide them from us,” said Charong. 

“Doubt it, people have tried to create these for decades, it is impressive he managed it in the timeline we gave him. Let alone at all!”

“Excuse me?” inserted Ursa again. 

The woman twirling the dart brushed her hand on Charong’s shoulder to say goodbye and walked out the door without a greeting. Charong turned his attention to Ursa. 

“Oh, yes. When will you be done?” 

“Soon, I expect.”

“I need you to work faster, your next group is waiting,”

“Understood,” she bowed. 

“And before I go, as I was just telling my wife, we have just gotten a shipment from our inventor. It contains special cuffs that block bending. We’re sure to find them very useful.”

Ursa gave another bow before he left. 

Ursa gestured for the woman to take Miska’s seat and he passed her the helmet with a shrug. 

“Wasn’t too bad,” he mumbled.

She placed it on her head and Ursa secured it in place. She felt nothing more than a tingling sensation around her head and she stayed relaxed, almost sleepy, during the whole process. 

Next, Ursa ran some other tests, including one that monitored chi flow. Then she measured lung capacity, heart rate and weight. 

“That’s all for today,” she said. 

The woman sighed in relief while Ursa called to the guards to get ready to escort them back to their rooms. 

Suddenly, the woman felt the siren’s call again, the luring music that wrapped itself into her emotions rather than thrumming in her ears, it was very the same one that she had felt the day she arrived. Since her first encounter with it, it came and went like the tides, it would recede only to return with great force. She stopped and relished the sensation that sang an enticing melody in her heart, it seemed almost to understand her pain and it seemed less alien and malicious than it did before. She noticed Ursa stood in a stupor as though she too, sensed the call. And by the faraway look in her eye, the woman wondered if she did. Jealousy sprang up in her chest, the call felt so personal, and so intimate, and yet here her captor might have shared in that experience. 

“Uh excuse us, but are we going or not?” interrupted the guards.

“Yes!” said a flustered Ursa, who withdrew from the appearance of daydream. 

As Miska, Inuk and the woman were guided back to their rooms Inuk said with a slight smile,“She wasn’t so bad,” 

“You try too hard to see good in people, Inuk,” scoffed Miska. 

“What do you think?” Inuk addressed the woman. 

She shrugged, but after a moment she said “We shouldn’t trust her.” 

“We don’t have to trust her, I was just noticing . . .she seems genuine, that’s all,”

“Whatever, Inuk,” huffed Miska again. 

Shortly after the woman returned to her cell guards fitted her with what could only be the new, chi-restricting cuffs.

One guard held her in place and the other slid on a simple, silver object that clamped tightly around her wrist. Then he placed the other one on the other wrist. She detested how tight the guards fit them, but she didn’t complain. 

With the introduction of the new cuffs, which many resented since it seemed their freedoms were being further restricted, there were many benefits that minimized the frustration that the prisoners endured. The benefits included water available at meal times and during the day as well as more relaxed rules and increased freedom. 

One such example was after lunch, Li and Lo allowed thirty minutes of mingling with other prisoners, and prisoners were free to return to their beds or remain in the dining area, whichever they pleased. 

So after a simple lunch of rice and garlic chicken, the woman sat quietly next to Miska and Inuk, she didn’t know the others and didn’t have any inclination to talk to Miska, Inuk, or the other men. She preferred to entertain herself in her head, sometimes with her children’s favourite lullabies, or memories of their giggles or of her husband’s lame sense of humor that she secretly enjoyed. She ignored the men who surrounded her, but they did not ignore her. 

“How did a woman end up here?” Asked one of the men, eyeing her carefully. 

“Guess she doesn’t know how to stay put at home,” another man said, turning his attention to her. 

“Or just inside the walls—”

“Ha—yeah, foolish woman, don’t you know you’re safe behind the walls?”

“I might ask you the same question,” she bit back haughtily.

“We men know the risks, but we have to hunt, unless you’d rather starve, little lady?” 

“No, starving isn’t how I like to spend my winters, but I’d rather starve than spend them with chauvinistic pigs,”

“You don’t know how to hold your tongue you sorry excuse for a woman,”

She stood up and looked him in the eyes. He took a step back, perhaps no woman had stood up to him before—they trained women like animals in the North and she refused to put up with that here. 

“Yes, you might consider me a sorry excuse for a woman, but just because I don’t bow to a man’s every wish doesn’t make me one. And I will never live up to your expectations because I am from the South Pole and I  _ don’t  _ let men control my life, if anything you should offer me some respect— you do that at least for your chief’s wife,” 

_ Ignoring current circumstances… _

“The South? You’re the reason we’re here!”

“Excuse me?”

“If your tribe and your husband had bothered to warn us, the other hunters and I wouldn’t have been kidnapped from our homes!” 

“Oh and that’s our fault? And what can you say of  _ my home,  _ the rest of the world ignored our pain and abandoned us like entrails at the end of a hunt! The Fire Nation scalped us of our whole way of life and the rest of you were content to let it happen,” her voice deepened slightly in anger, and she took a moment to breath before she continued, “and now you sit here and accuse me, and my family of leaving the Northern Water Tribe vulnerable? Your audacity is pathetic, we have no responsibility or obligation  _ or even inclination,  _ to help your rich and prosperous tribe when ours is hardly clinging to life—

“Hey—” 

“No, if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have said it in the first place.” 

“I wasn't going to say sorry you insolent brat,” 

He walked towards her as she stumbled back. With his taller figure looming over her, she came to the immediate realization that, even in anger, she could not hope to defeat him if he attacked her.

At the very least the guards seemed to be aware and they took a few steps forward, but then they paused as they gauged the situation. 

Inuk stepped between the woman and the man advancing on her. He and the aggressive man were about the same height and he gave him a warning look.

“That’s enough Arnluuk,” said Inuk. 

The woman’s erratic pulse still thumped in anger and tears threatened to erupt from her eyes, so she ran away from the dining area towards a hall, she still had time to return to her room and regain her composure, but instead she hit a warm body. 

She landed on the floor and wiped the tears out her eyes and choked back a sob. She wanted to go  _ home.  _

She smelled chai and star anise, she looked up and found that the warm body she had run into was Ursa. And to her great surprise, she did not resist when Ursa pulled her up and hugged her. 

She wasn't sure why she let her, perhaps her desperation for comfort outweighed her hatred for the woman. 

While Ursa stroked her hair the woman clutched at her silk robes as though they were ropes that suspended her above a canyon; the difference between living her life and plummeting to her death.

She missed her husband and her children and her friends and her tribe. But she had none of them here with her, instead she cried in a stranger’s arms who was also her enemy, and the only piece of home she had with her was her name. She missed her name like she missed the snow and sun and sea. Without her name she felt as lost as if she were running in a blizzard on the tundra, with no sense of direction except up and down, and neither direction she could go. At that moment she needed to hear her name. 

And so she sobbed “my name is Kya.” 

  
  
  



	7. Onwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a rough day on many fronts. I hope y’all had a good day.   
> Anyway I’m sorry it’s been a while, but I hope you enjoy the chapter. I don’t know if it’s any good, and if there are grammar mistakes...I’m really sorry.

Zuko pressed yet another letter into a tight fold and lit it on fire, watching the parchment turn from pasty yellow to pitch black as the flames consumed it, leaving it ashen and twisted. He could find no way to let anyone know of his predicament, at least not without also alerting Yukon and Juro. 

If they found out… who knew what they would do. 

His frustration simmered and bubbled underneath his skin as he drew closer to losing control and burning down the whole palace. Or at least that’s what it felt like sometimes, like the frustration knotted in his body had no outlet, but ate at his discipline and wore down his patience. Soon it would burst from his body pulsating and alive and he would not have the power to stop it. 

Sweat dribbled slowly down his forehead. It didn’t help that Yukon and Juro had locked him in his room and added more guards, both measurements they said were for his protection. But being stuck in one place exhausted his patience. He remembered the smile that sneaked across Yukon’s face. The more Zuko ruminated, the louder the thoughts growled and the more solid his belief was that locking him in his room made him a more vulnerable target. 

A sound came from outside his bedroom door. 

A knock.

Zuko jumped and gripped the table with the tips of his fingers, relaxing only centimeters when he remembered that a serving boy would be by to bring him his lunch. 

“Enter,” commanded Zuko, who refused to let the uncertainty enter his voice.

_ Assassins don’t knock Zuzu.  _ He could almost see Azula’s eyes roll. 

He held his voice firm despite the words feeling strangled in his throat. 

The boy placed his lunch, simple greens and rice balls, in front of him. He bowed low. 

Zuko peered at the greens warily.  _ Was that the leaf of the bloodplum plant, poisonous and deadly?  _ He looked more closely, they were regular greens and just that. 

_ But wait...what was that scent? _

Zuko brought the bowl close to his nose and sniffed it several times before once again realizing his imagination ran away with his logic. 

He shook his head at himself. 

The servant boy gave a huff, reminding Zuko of his presence. 

He turned his head to find that the boy still waited to be dismissed. That sag in his pocket, was that a dagger? The uneven sleeve, was that a place to hide a dart? Did the untucked shirt hide a rope to strangle him with? 

Or was the boy only scruffy? 

“Is there a problem with your lunch, your majesty? ” 

“No, not at all. You’re dismissed.”

The boy rose from his bow and left. Zuko watched him all the way until his fingers touched the knob on the door. Zuko jumped when the door snapped shut again. 

These were new habits of his. Every sound he heard or, thought he heard, demanded his attention. One too many assassination attempts had taken their toll on his sensitive nerves. He no longer knew who to trust. (Had he ever really?) Even the most devoted servants could, for all he knew be an imposter, or a spy. That included anyone who made his meals, anyone who did his laundry, anyone who changed his sheets. He also knew he couldn’t trust Yukon or Juro, or any of the advisors, or their followers or all those under their command. Which left him with no allies. Even his own people were against him, the nobility did not support him, as far as he knew. And he couldn’t fathom why the middle and lower classes would support him, despite his efforts he’d been unable to do anything for him. He was an island in a sea of people who were either apathetic or dangerous. Anyone could be either one. He gripped his fists. 

Every crack he heard danced on the edges of his nerves, each tap tickled the tension twisting its way into his muscles, every whoosh drilled fear into his bones. He didn’t realize, but every noise and flutter in the corner of his eye, real or imagined, left him terrified. He didn’t want to admit the tightness in his chest or the racing of his heart, not even to himself. He could do this alone. He didn’t need anyone. 

He just didn’t know what to do. He wanted to know what to do, he wanted to be a leader his people deserved. But what could he do, burn the whole palace down and use intimidation to scare Yukon, Juro and their men, as well as everyone who opposed him? How would that make him any different from his family?

_ Oh, what could anyone do, let alone a formerly exiled Prince _ ? 

He squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers and sighed heavily. His legs ached to leave the room. He got up and opened his door but the guards, dressed in blue pointed their spears at him and reminded him just how under house arrest he was. 

So then he paced around the room. Over and over and over. The sweat kept dripping down his face, but he no longer cared, or even noticed. The thoughts were creeping into the cracks in his mind, they crawled into every crevice where fear resided. He tried to focus on his pounding heart instead of his creeping thoughts, but the thoughts crawled faster and faster the more he tried to shove them to the side. 

He sat in his chair with his hands gripping his pants, without noticing the way his knuckles lost their color. Almost every sound seemed to be his enemy, and as each moment passed without him determining a course of action, he grew more agitated. 

And so he sat there without a clue what to do, while the clock ticked by and the shadows the sun cast grew longer and eventually receded into the darkness. 

He watched night shadows, cast by the moonglow, with vigilance. Nothing would slip by him tonight. He didn’t need the guards to protect him, (he knew they weren’t really there for that), he could protect himself just fine. His swords lay on his desk, glinting beneath the shifting moonlight, waiting for when he needed them. 

His fingers brushed their handles every few minutes.

But slowly, the sleepless nights caught up with him, and even the pounding in his chest was not enough to keep him awake. His eyelids grew heavy and sleepiness overwhelmed his brain. His head dropped to his chest. He startled. And he repeated the action without wanting to. 

—

Katara arrived on the outskirts of Caldera and pulled back on the eel-hound’s reins. The city stretched before her, she could hear the clang of metal work, the chatter at markets, and marching of soldiers. Soldiers swarmed all around. They wore blues and greens and not the reds and greys of the Fire Nation guards. Her eyebrows squeezed together. 

_ This was odd….It struck her as extreme. _

A pamphlet sat crumpled and dirty before her. She slipped off the eel-hound and uncrumpled the paper, which read  _ “Join The Anarchists, Down With Them All! _ ” 

Below was a picture of Fire Nation people throwing their fists in the air and stamping their boots on the bodies of Zuko and those she recognized as the main advisors the Peace Council had sent to Zuko. 

_ What should she make of this?  _

It wasn’t the only pamphlet either. There were many scattered around. Some demanded the return of Azula, Ozai and Imperialism. They called for a return to the war and claimed that the Avatar and Prince Zuko had stolen greatness from them. 

Others demanded that the Earth and Water occupation must end. 

Katara scoffed.  _ Like they had any right to demand that the Earth and Water military leave when the Fire Nation military had occupied colonies for nearly a century. _

And that wasn’t all there was. She would be there all day if she tried to read them all.

She walked towards the open gates that spilled open to reveal Caldera city. Her heart beat faster the closer she got.

_ Would they stop her? Or would they assume that she had permission to be there, since no one who didn’t have permission made it this far? _

She made eye contact with the guards in front of the gate. They wore the dark blues of the Northern Water Tribe, though the clothes were styles that fit the heat of the Fire Nation weather. They held their spears as though they were ready for an attack.

“What is your business here, miss? And where is your escort?”

_ Oh no! why didn’t she think of a reasonable cover story? _

“I don’t need an escort.” 

“Every woman needs an escort.” 

“Oh please, I can handle myself. Thank you very much.” 

The guard rolled his eyes at her. She let the annoyance pass through her. This wasn’t the time or place to get into an argument. 

“Whatever. We still need identification, proof of permission to pass, and your purpose to gain entrance.” 

“I’m Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. I have a message for Fire Lord Zuko.”

The guard laughed at her. 

“Yeah right.”

“Well I am.”

“She's Avatar's girlfriend. She always follows him.” 

She clenched her jaw.

“Not anymore.” She replied. 

The guard huffed. “I still need you to show me the documents.” 

“I...I lost them. Can you let me pass just this once?”

“No.” replied the guard. 

She glared at him. 

Then she tried to force her way past him anyway. 

The guards grabbed her arms, twisted them behind her and threw her back out. 

She landed in the dirt, bruising her elbows and getting dust in her mouth. She coughed and spat out the dirt before jumping back up and drawing water from her water pouch, ready for a fight. 

But she stopped. She returned the water and tugged on the eel-hound’s reins. 

“I guess we’re leaving then.” she announced. 

_ She would find another way in.  _

She hid in the trees and paced around the outer wall. She wasn’t sure she remembered it actually. Perhaps it was a new development. And it was nothing like the wall in Ba Sing Se, in fact, she didn’t see why the eel-hound couldn’t jump over the wall. She climbed onto the eel-hound and waited impatiently. She just needed an opening, a break in the guard’s pattern. Finally she saw an opportunity and kicked the eel-hound into action, it raced to the very edge of the wall-- _ they were going to crash _ \--Katara closed her eyes. But then she was soaring in the air. A weightless feeling took over and she felt like she was flying.

They crashed down on some guy’s ceramics stall before racing past hundreds of other stalls. She barely had the chance to see the guy and yell “Sorry,” as he yelled at her angrily,

“Come back here!” 

She could ask Zuko to pay for his troubles, the crown had to have plenty of money, right? 

She still felt guilty. 

People dodged out of her way left and right, but she couldn’t slow down because the guards raced behind her, they were closing in despite the eel-hound being one of the fastest creatures in existence since there were simply too many obstacles in the city. But the creature did it’s best as it leaped and weaved elegantly over and around most of his obstacles.

She came back to reality as he jolted when he swerved past a spicy smelling noodle shop and over a newspaper stand, she almost fell off. Then he ducked under the clothes line, and maroon robes dropped on top of Katara’s head and covered her eyes, she shoved it off and the wind whisked it away right onto one of her pursuers faces. He promptly tripped and brought down the rest with him. 

She cheered internally and continued racing towards the palace. There was no stopping her now! 

* * *

“You can’t enter the palace,” Said a guard wearing green. He must have been from Ba Sing Se. 

“What?!” 

“What do you mean I can’t enter the palace?” 

“Exactly what I said,” 

“I did not come all this way for you to tell me  _ no. _ ” 

“Well it looks like you did. Now if you would leave--” 

“--Absolutely not,” 

She pulled out her water and shoved the men away from the palace gates. They gathered themselves, their eyes dazed and glassy and began to get back up again, but she whipped them back into place. 

Then she marched on into the palace. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you have any thoughts. I really enjoy hearing them.


	8. The Mark of the Untrusted is Fire Nation Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, I have had such a miserable week and it’s been culminating for a while, so I want to thank you all for your comments and kudos and support because I feel so much like giving up in my schoolwork and on this story, and my other responsibilities but your support means a lot to me. So this story is still alive. Anyways, I haven’t replied to comments yet, but I still appreciate all of them. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it includes a flashback, which is...different. But I like flashbacks. Let me know if you enjoy them and I can include them in later chapters. Or maybe you don’t like them. Anyways. Onto the chapter.

Kya gripped Ursa’s silk robes and sobbed until her tears ran dry. Ursa held her tightly the whole time. She sniffled and wondered if Ursa had children. 

_ Had she mentioned any?  _ She felt like she had, but she hadn’t paid close enough attention. She had plenty of her own worries without wondering about a Fire Nation woman’s life. 

She pulled herself away and wiped her face with her sleeve. She didn’t dare look Ursa in her eyes. She hiccuped and sniffled again. The emptiness in her felt more distant, perhaps she hadn’t realized that she still clung so desperately to her family and to her home. She knew she missed them of course, but perhaps it was just now that she realized how alone she really was, and how much she had held onto the impossible hope that Hakoda would come for her, and that she would see her family again. She told herself she didn’t have any hope, but part of her hoped anyway. Her thoughts did not change her feelings, no matter how much she wanted them to.

She remembered when she used to go to Kanna for comfort, like the time she had miscarried and her body felt like her enemy and the guilt burned her throat. Kanna would let her sob on her shoulder like she had sobbed on Ursa’s shoulder. She brushed her fingers to her bare throat, where her choker should have rested.

_ Kanna sat in front of her, her serious gaze felt like it saw through her body and to her soul, examining her every fault. Perhaps Kanna was going to tell her that she would disown Hakoda if he married her. Perhaps that’s what that expression meant. Perhaps Hakoda would have to choose between his mother and his fiance. She held herself tall anyway, and waited for Kanna to say something.  _

_ But she didn’t say anything.  _

_ “Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?” Asked Kya.  _

_ She watched attentively as Kanna reached to her neck and undid the clasp on her necklace.  _

_ She held the necklace, a beautiful betrothal one that she had kept from her life in the North, and rubbed the stone between her fingers.  _

_ Kya bit her lip.  _

_ And finally Kanna spoke.  _

_ “I have been hard on you my dear, but that is not because I do not like you, or think that you are not worthy of my son, but because I already love you as a daughter.”  _

_ Kya’s eyes moved from the blue stone to meet Kanna’s eyes.  _

_ Kanna continued, “I am hard on those I love because life is harsh and you must be prepared. Being anything else is a disservice, how will you be prepared for hardship if you think life is easy?” _

_ “I understand,” replied Kya softly. She fiddled with her fingers.  _

_ “But dear, I am so proud that I will be able to call a fiery, strong woman like you, my daughter.”  _

_ She passed the necklace to Kya who held it delicately in her fingers.  _

_ And then she said, “I want you to have this,”  _

_ “But this is your last piece of your old life…” _

_ “Yes, and it is my most precious possession. Despite the sexism and constrictions on women there and everything else I hated about the North, it was still home. I want you to have it, as a token of my love for my future daughter-in-law.“ _

_ “Thank you,” said Kya.  _

_ “My son doesn’t know this, but I had a daughter who was born before him. But the winter was vengeful that year, and she didn’t survive. I begged the spirits to take anything else from me, I would sacrifice anything if it saved her life. But the spirits deemed it her time to go. I never stopped missing her...” Kanna’s eyes drifted into her memories, the ones forged between mother and daughter, the ones that endured for eternity, the ones that held together their bond and prevented it from slipping out of existence.  _

_ Recognizing the gravity of the moment, Kya waited patiently and wondered what she would feel for her children, not yet born, and what she would sacrifice for them. A moment later, Kanna’s eyes snapped back to Kya’s and she said,“you must be strong to survive in this world,”  _

_ Kya didn’t know what to say to that or the death of her daughter. She felt like it was inappropriate to let the silence sit between them. A child’s death, no matter how common in their community, was a source of great pain for as long as the family cradled the memories in their hearts, which many did, either because they could not let go or because they believed that holding onto the memories kept their spirits in the physical world, so they could pass onto the next life as a family.  _

_ So she said, “I’m sorry that your daughter was lost. And don’t worry, I’ll always be strong.”  _

_ “I know you’re strong.” She smiled again. “Kya,” she continued, “I love you like I loved her. And if you or Hakoda ever need anything, I will be there for you both. And I hope that you one day will think of me as your mother. ”  _

_ Kya nodded as the older woman enclosed her wrinkled hands around her own. Her snowpea and icelily perfume wafted towards Kya and she breathed in the scent.  _

_ “Spirits of the moon and the ocean, spirits of the snow and the ice, spirits of love and life, I bless this union between my son and this fierce woman in front of me, let it be a long and fruitful union.” _

_ These words echoed from the recesses of Kya’s mind, she had not heard them since she was a little girl. They were part of the blessings the families of couples gave at a wedding ceremony. But those traditions had long since been abandoned in favour of pure frugality and necessity. As more Fire Nation raids continued to dwindle their numbers, various tribes migrated further and further away, and food became more and more scarce, most things were forgotten as the need for survival outweighed the delight in culture, sacred or otherwise. But she knew what they meant.  _

_ Overwhelmed with the warmth swelling in her chest, hot tears threatened to spill out of the corners of her eyes.  _

_ “I’ll be honored to call you mother, Kanna.”  _

_ “I’m glad, and one day, I hope that you can pass that necklace on to your daughter.”  _

_ “I will.” She replied.  _

_ Behind Kya, the wind whooshed into the igloo,  _

_ “Hakoda, there you are,” said Kanna, She gave him a crinkled smile. Her blue eyes twinkled.  _

_ “Hello mother, hey Kya. I think we have a blizzard coming.” He brushed snow off his parka. _

_ “I should be heading home then,” said Kya. _

_ Kya began to stand up. He put his hand on her shoulder.  _

_ “Kya honey, wait, it’s already too bad to go out there.” _

_ “Oh.”  _

_ Hakoda stroked her cheek and brushed his fingers through her hair.  _

_ “Is that mother’s necklace?”  _

_ “Yes,” replied Kya.  _

_ “Why don’t you put it on her.” Suggested Kanna.  _

_ Hakoda lifted her hair, “Would you hold your hair up for me?” _

_ “Sure.” _

_ He placed the necklace at her throat and clasped it at the back of her neck. Then he gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. She blushed and smiled. With Kanna smiling in front of her, Hakoda hugging her from behind and the blizzard picking up outside, she felt peace and comfort flow through the igloo that would soon be her home. She brushed her fingers to her throat, the stone was cool to the touch.  _

_ And years later, when she went with the Fire Nation Captain, she slipped the necklace off and dropped it on the floor, where it waited for Katara. It would be the link between her and her little girl.  _

Ursa’s gold eyes looked at her carefully, and then she said, “How are you feeling now?”

Her voice interrupted her thoughts and reality came crashing back into her mind. 

Ursa placed a hand on her shoulder, Kya paused for a moment. 

_ She still couldn’t trust this woman. It was a moment of weakness before.  _

_ Kanna thought her strong, so she would be strong.  _

“Kya,” Ursa inquired again, softly. She spoke almost as though she were talking to a child. 

She shrugged Ursa’s hand off her shoulder and stood up, leaving Ursa still on the floor. 

_ Her sitting on the floor, the Captain standing above her. Her looking up, her face an impassive facade, her heart beating like a wild animal caged in her ribs while she blocked out panicked yells and blasts of flames and spears clashing outside. Her daughter’s terrified, “I’m scared,” and her “Go find your dad, sweetie.”  _

Her last words to her daughter weren’t “I love you.” Her last words to everyone seemed so...empty. She felt as though her life was trapped with all the people and things she had left behind, each of them held little pieces of her that tethered her to them. And it was this woman and her nation, who had taken that from her. 

She liked being the one standing. She liked feeling taller, it made her feel less powerless. 

“Stay away from me,” she commanded Ursa.

When Ursa watched her walk away, she remained motionless. Her slanted eyes appeared mournful. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Kya thought she saw something move, but she paid it no mind. 

The siren’s call came to her again, it thrummed in her blood and it’s song soothed the vicious pain that still wracked her body.The pain that refused to seep to the surface as tears. She was overcome with the desire to race towards its source, but held herself in place and reveled in the feelings washing over her until the melody receded back into wherever it came from. 

She returned to her room and shut the door. She held her arms around herself and thought of her family. The exhaustion that followed intense emotions overwhelmed her. Not even the worries that nagged in her mind, _ like what would she do when she had to waterbend _ , could keep her awake. She sunk into sleep. 

* * *

The following day they went through more tests, ones very similar to the previous day’s. Kya watched Ursa warily the whole time. She waited for her to mock her or call her name, but she didn’t. She just went about her business with focus and precision, as though nothing had happened. But when the day was over and it was time to return to her cell, Ursa called for her to wait behind the others. Kya watched as Miska and Inuk looked back at her, asking silently if she was okay. She gave them a shrug and they left. 

“Kya,” she started. 

She finally looked her in the eye. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. You don’t need to fear me. I’m powerless here and I might not be able to do anything to help you, but believe me when I say I don’t want to cause you any harm. Do you understand?”

“Okay,” said Kya. 

_ But that didn’t mean she believed her.  _

“Is there something else that’s bothering you?” Asked Ursa. She tilted her head.

“No.” 

“You remind me a little of my son. He was a terrible liar too.” Ursa smiled, but her eyes were faraway. 

“So you do have children?” That got her attention. 

_ You still can’t trust her.  _ But that was just the voice in her head. 

_ But she was a mother, like herself.  _ But that was just the voice in her heart. 

“You have children?”

Ursa smiled softly again, “Yes, a son and a daughter.” 

“Me too.”

“What are their names?” 

_ Don’t tell her.  _

“Sokka and Katara,” 

_ She chastised herself internally, but something about this woman made her want to share.  _

“Those are lovely names.”

“I know.” replied Kya stiffly. 

“And your children?” 

“Zuko and Azula.” 

“What do those names mean?”

Ursa’s expression darkened. 

“Well, Zuko means  _ angry _ and Azula means  _ blue.  _ Her father named her after her grandfather.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

_ Kya cursed herself, she didn’t care. But then, why did she ask? _

“It’s nothing important.” She brushed off the question. 

“Well,” Kya began changing the subject, “what are you doing here if you don’t want to be.”

_ Hold back the snark. _

“What is she still doing here?” interrupted Charong, appearing at the door suddenly and gesturing at Kya. 

“I just needed to re-perform one of the tests. I mixed up her data.” replied Ursa calmly. 

“I see. Well, hurry up. And don’t make that mistake again, who knows what the consequences might be for your son.” He smirked at her.

Ursa inclined her head in a small, submissive bow.

Ursa seemed a little spooked for a moment. The edge of her mouth twerked at the corner and she peered at Kya. 

_ Anger surfaced again, but this time it wasn’t directed at Ursa, but the man who threatened Ursa’s son. No child should be threatened like that. But then again, he was a Fire Nation boy...and just like that the hostility returned. She could not feel empathy towards these people who had raided her home until it scarcely resembled even a shadow of it’s former self. She could not forgive these people who were a threat to her daughter’s life. She despised these people who had spirited her away from her home.  _

Kya looked towards Ursa with hostility, the delicate atmosphere hanging between them had shattered. 

“It’s time you returned, I’ll have the guards escort you back,” Ursa stated briskly. 

Kya clenched her jaw. 

_ She hated this woman. And she was determined for things to stay that way, as that was how they should be. These people, they were evil to the core, and Ursa likely a spy trying to gain their confidence and learn their secrets. Ursa could not be trusted.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love hearing any thoughts you might have! And thanks for reading. Also, do you prefer longer chapters or shorter chapters?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Euros here,
> 
> This is my first time posting something I have written. I have been toying with this idea for quite awhile now and thought I should just put it out there...Instead of editing and re editing and never getting anywhere with it! I am not entirely sure where I will go with it yet, and I am very busy so I don't yet know how consistent updates will be. 
> 
> Please comment if you want, I'd love to know what you think! And take a guess in the comments if you want, who's the mysterious woman?


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